Guardian Angel
by brttmclv
Summary: Sarah Malone's father was sent to prison when she was 13. Her junkie mom moved her away but when Sarah was 18 she came back. She thought she was alone. What she didn't know was that her father sent her Guardian Angel to keep her safe. Better than summary!
1. Prologue : A Not So Pleasant Surprise

It's such a little thing to weep,

So short a thing to sigh;

And yet by trades the size of these

We men and women die!

-Emily Dickinson

**************

"Oh my _God_," was the guttural moan that slipped through my lips. To be honest, it pissed me off. I was _trying_ my best to be quiet on this particular night. Any other night I would scream, moan and groan my little head off and love _every_ pleasuring moment of it. But not tonight. Tonight my shitty little apartment was infested with about 30 people that were either in a gang, doing runs for a gang, or were tricks for the people in the gang and doing runs for the gang, and though they knew what was going on in my room, I wasn't about to give them the pleasure of hearing me at my best.

"They can't fucking hear you," was the strained response when I stuffed my face into the pillow below me and muffled another lust filled moan. However, a second later, my face fell flat on the bed when the pillow was snatch from under me and tossed across the room. In an act of aggravation I pushed my hips back into his but instead of getting my annoyance across, I ended up letting another, louder, moan slip past my damned lips and earned a chuckle from behind me.

I guess he was right though. No matter how loud I was, I doubt anyone would hear me. Hell, I am surprised that the cops hadn't broken my door down yet. I could clearly hear the loud ass rap and occasional rock song that blasted through the very expensive sound system in the living room. I could also hear the walls thumping from the sounds of the action movie they were watching. Why they had both music and TV on was beyond me but they did and from what it sounded like, they were having a blast. Every 10 seconds or so I heard a hoot and holler from someone on the beer bong or on the bong itself, in which a loud cough would emerge through all the other sounds.

But, me being me, I was still trying to muffle my sounds because, if I knew any of them in there, they would be walking down he hallway, making up a lame excuse to go pee or puke whilst trying to get a sneak peek or hear a snippet of what was going down in the very back bedroom because if anyone knew the man behind me, they knew it would be quite a show. I'll admit that if I were an outsider, I would try to get a peek too. I heard stories before the man they were about bedded me and I was damn curious to see if they were true. Granted, I would have never in a million years tried to seduce him or flirt my way into his bed because, honestly, I was not _that_ type of girl.

What is that type of girl, you ask? Well, that type of girl is just about every girl that lives in the vicinity of my house, the bar I work at or the one that know someone that lives in those two vicinities. That type of girl is either a junkie, a trick, a stripper or a dirty bitch that wants my man!

Woosa.

Okay, so three years ago I wasn't this possessive either but it comes with the man. You get a little territorial when your guy is the most sought after piece of meat in Boston. But back to the topic at hand.

Three years ago, I was not the woman that I am today. Three years ago, I was the last person that you would expect to the break a girl's face for winking at my boyfriend. I was the last person you'd hear cursing up a storm that would make a sailor blush all because said sought after boyfriend 'accidentally' forgot to tell his loving, trusting girlfriend that he was going to a strip club for a friend's birthday. (Said loving girlfriend happens to like strip clubs...many opportunities to break faces.)

No, three years ago I was the one who would back down from the tiniest argument and let everyone else walk on me as if I was the shit on his or her shoes. Three years ago, I was also the last person that you would find in Billy Darley's bed.

And for that simple reason, I am damn glad that I am not that same person I was or I would be missing out on the best damn sex there is. The raw and primal kind of sex that would have made my old conservative side blush furiously and stutter her words away as she ran away like a little girl.

And yes, Billy Darley made all these changes possible. Unwilling and reluctantly, at first, on my behalf.

In the midst of my internal rant, and on the verge of another earth shattering orgasm, a loud thumping sound, which was not from my bed, filled my ears. Then a familiar voice yelled, "Hurry the fuck up, man. Joe thinks he can out drink you!"

Fucking Heco, Billy is going to kill him, I thought with a grin.

"I'm gonna fucking kill him," was another strained response. And thought I was pissed that Heco had just stolen my boyfriend for at least half an hour after we were done to go kick his ass up and down the parking lot of Stokely Hall, the thrusts increased and so I was content for a little bit.

Suddenly, "Ughn, fuck!" This one caught me off guard. My toes curled, my stomach tingled and my lips parted to release the scream that was a build up of all the muffled ones from the night. I felt Billy grip my hips one last time before reaching his peak and falling next to me in the bed. That did not last long though. Just as I reached over to mold my body to his, he flipped over on his side and sat up into a sitting position.

"Jesus," I muttered. I sat up and leaned back against the headboard, watching him as he sifted through the clothes on the floor to find his boxers. "Ahh the fuck and toss. How original." For the most part, I was teasing. But the other part was dead serious and judging by his face, he knew that. And he thought it was funny.

Bastard.

"You say that like it's a bad thing." Oh, how I hate that damn shit eating grin. It's nothing but trouble.

I stayed silent for a moment, letting it sink in that I really am a little annoyed with the fact that we just had sex and he's jumping up to leave me to go kick some guy's ass. How romantic and thoughtful.

His eyes narrowed as he stared back at me and pulled his boxer's up. When he finally spoke, his tone almost...almost...broke my semi-tough barrier. "You know it's not like that, Sarah."

Oh, really?

I raised a brow at him and he sighed. "Why do you always have to do this?"

Me?! Oh, the shit is flying now, buddy.

"Why do I always have to do this? Me?! Are you fucking kidding me?" I screamed, my eyes wide with my hands in the air. Now, you don't go from a scared little girl to a face-breaking bitch without gaining a major attitude. Add that to the fact that I got my attitude from Billy Darley, I was a dangerous bitch to be messing with when I was ticked off. Therefore, I might have been a force to reckon with and just might have been a little scary...if the white sheet that I had wrapped around me wouldn't have slipped off leaving me naked as the day I was born.

Oh, that damn grin again.

"Do not change the subject!" I warned weakly. But he was already stalking towards me.

It was hot. And boy, I would be lying if I said it didn't turn me on.

"Does it physically hurt you or make you ill to show me that you care? Or, hell, to even care at all? Huh? Really, what harm will come from a little emotion?" I spouted off questions as quickly as I could, hoping that one would catch his attention or at least make him stop watching me like I was his next meal.

My tactic worked. He paused at the foot of the bed and dropped his head with a sigh. With his back to me, sat on the edge of the bed and crooked a finger at me. "Come here." He patted the spot next to him. I hesitantly crawled up to him and sat next to him putting my chin on his broad shoulder.

"Do you really think that I don't care about you?" he asked softly. Oh, this is how he wore me down. He would somehow find those buried sweet feelings that he had somewhere inside that rough body and use them on me. Plain and simple, Billy as a hard ass was hot. Billy as a sweetheart was utterly sexy and would melt instantly.

So after all my working up to make him feel bad for ditching me after sex...I had to backtrack and say that I was sorry. I just love how this works.

"No, but-"

"I do care. If I didn't, I would not be here. If I didn't care, I would not have offered you a ride home that night. I wouldn't have kept Jeremy alive and I wouldn't have kept my promise to your father." The words pouring out of his mouth were full of honesty. Full of conviction. Billy Darley was a hard-core man. He was as tough as a rusty nail. Everything he did, he did with an astounding confidence and determination. Whether it was going to rob someone, kill someone or...care for someone. The latter was tougher for him to do than anything but he did. He cared for me.

Now I was feeling even worse than I was a minute ago for wanting to make him feel bad. God, this sucks.

"I'm sorry." I whispered and placed a small kiss on his neck. "I didn't mean it like that, ya know? I'm just annoyed that I didn't get to cuddle with you." I grinned at his manly snort and scooted closer to him. "Come on, you know you like cuddling with me." By the time I kissed his neck again, his arm was around my waist and I was straddling his thighs.

"I hate cuddling." his voice was saying one thing but his body was saying another. Instead of groping me, like I thought he would, he was caressing me. My back, my legs, my sides and my face felt hot under his touch. So loving, so tender. So not, what you would think this tattooed man was capable of at all. But not everyone got to see this side of him. Only me. I doubt his brother has even seen him this way.

Slowly, I pulled back from his embrace and moved off his lap. He watched me with a confused expression as I finished gathering his clothes for him.

"Go on and get dressed. Beat or cuss at who ever you need to beat or cuss at." He started to protest but I waved my hand at him. "No, do what you have to do." I smiled and walked up to him. "But when you get done, I want you back in this room for round 3. Understand?" A grin spread across his face as he leaned down to kiss my head.

"Since when do you give me orders?" he joked when he pulled away. Billy never took orders from anyone. Well, the only exception was his deadbeat father who isn't even worth the thinking time right now.

But I was special.

My hands snaked down his chest and to his boxers. "Since you invited me to your bed and got addicted to what I can do with my tongue and hands." I lightly squeezed his package while I said this and he glared at me.

"Stop." he warned. "You're letting me go without a fight. And if you don't know already, that is very rare. So don't start something that will make me late." I held my hands up in faux defense and walked away to the bathroom.

If my apartment was shitty, my bathroom was even shittier. Now I usually don't diss my apartment. It keeps me warm in the winter, cold in the summer. It is a roof over my head and has a bed for me to sleep on. However, I am a girl and I like to look good. I like to smell good and I like to keep my skin nice and healthy. So when I tell you that my bathroom is tinier than a brook closet, my mirror is broken, my sink is cracked and it leaks, my medicine cabinet is now non-existent thanks to Billy's fit of anger after finding a condom in our bathroom that was half the size of his member and that I have no space at all on my counter, you will understand why I have to take five minutes of my time and be a little bummed without feeling guilty.

I hear Billy walking out the door and look in the broken mirror, which I broke by accident eight days ago when he was late to our anniversary dinner. Note to everyone, do not throw high heels at your boyfriend when he is in the bathroom, it might hit your blessed mirror.

As weird as it sounds, I study my face. I look at the faint dark circles under my eyes from my lack of sleep, a.k.a. my sex filled nights, and the tiny scar that juts out from the outer corner of my left eye. That tiny scar takes me back through these three years. A series of memories flash in my mind. Some make me smile and others make me want to cry. So much has changed. I have changed. My life has changed. Nothing is what I thought it would be. Nothing at all.

But that does not mean I would change it. I wouldn't change my scar or find some way to erase the memories of my bruises for anything in this world. I am stronger, more confident and completely satisfied with how my life turned out. It might have been a tough three years but it was worth it.

Billy was worth it.

"Do you get the seven years bad luck or do I?"

His voice brought me out of my reverie and I looked into the mirror. His arms were wrapped around my waist and he had his chin on my shoulder, face turned so he could kiss my neck.

"It was me that broke it." I reminded me. He nodded against my neck but did not move.

"But I pissed you off." he moved his lips up my neck and to my ear. Shivers ran down my spine and I knew he felt them when he chuckled. "I love the effect I have on you."

Of course he does. He loves that he can make my knees go weak or melt me from head to toe with one glance or touch. He loves that he is the only guy I look at and want.

But I love that too.

"I love you, Billy." I whispered, not knowing if I would get a response or not.

"I know."

I rolled my eyes and turned to face him. He tried to kiss me on the lips but I moved away. He sighed and pulled back from me to lean against the wall, which left a lousy half foot between us.

"Would it kill you to say it?" I demanded. Three years and he still cannot say the freaking L word. Was he afraid it was going to kill him? Hurt him? Burn him? I really wanted to know.

While I glared at him, he glared right back. Great, he was going to stand his ground. "Say what?"

"You know what!" I screeched. Oh my God, really? Was he going to play the dumb card? "Love! Billy, love. I say it, you do not. Half the time you just walk out of the room without saying anything! I'm tired of it. I know you care but, damn, I want to hear it every once in a while."

After my little rant, I realized that he hadn't said a word while I was ranting. That is unusual. If someone yells at Billy, he yells right back and he does not wait until you are done as he just did with me. And even now, while I'm thinking about this, he's quietly staring at me.

"What?" I asked nervously. Did I piss him off so bad that he is silently steaming? Is he going to kick me out and break up with me? Billy is never this quiet.

After another moment's silence he finally spoke. "Yes."

Huh?

"Yes what?" I asked knowing I looked thoroughly confused because a small smile played at his lips.

"Yes, it just might kill me." he explained. With a frown on my face, I turned to walk away but he would not let me. "But so will caring for you." he added, which did not make me feel any better.

"What the fuck are you trying to say, Darley?" I snapped. See, the use of last names is a way to tell if we are mad at each other. I call him Darley. He calls me…

"Watch your attitude, Malone." he snapped back and gently pushed me into the bedroom. "I know what you're thinking. You're thinking I'm trying to get rid of you, right?" he asked. Mentally, I nodded and gave him a standing ovation for reading me so well. However, on the out side I stood my ground and stayed still.

"Well, I'm not." he informed me with a smirk. "If I wanted you gone, I would have done-" I could not help but to interrupt him now.

"Oh my God! I know-"

"-by now. So don't go there." he finished but I didn't.

"-that you can get rid of me if you wanted to. You don't have to tell me it every chance you get." I yelled as he glared at me. "But while you are in the mood to tell me things, how about tell me what the fuck you mean?"

"I meant what I said. Caring for ya can kill me," he said it like it was the simplest thing in the world. "It'll be the death of me."

"How in the FUCK," I screeched once more. "Do you figure that?" Again, I should be a little scary here but he was smiling at me.

"Because once Daddy Malone gets out of jail and finds out about us, which he will, he's going to kill me." A hearty laugh erupted from his lips and I knew it was my face.

My father. Oh shit!

I ran across the room to the computer on the wobbly desk in the corner. I clicked on my calendar on my desktop and clicked over one month to January 2009. My eyes skipped over my highlighted 21st birthday on January 1st and kept going through the days until I found the one that made my jaw drop.

**January 9th, 2009**

Daddy gets out of prison.

Pick up at jailhouse in noon.

Daddy was getting out prison. He had been in since I was 13 and, honestly, I hadn't gone to see him. We talked on the phone and through letters but that was it. He never wanted me to go see him. Some days I wanted to but others I didn't want to see my father in that prison. I never knew him to be a bad person but everyone else saw him as horrible person because he went to prison. My dad was a nice man really. Sure he had a bad attitude and he was very protective of me but-

"Oh my God." I gasped and turned to look at Billy. "He's going to murder you and go back to prison, Billy!" He nodded grimly and pointed to the computer.

"So how long 'till he gets free?" he asked. I looked back at the screen and clicked back to December.

Oh no.

"It's the 29th! We have 11 days." I groaned and let my head fall onto the keyboard.

Life was going to get very rough.

*****************


	2. Chapter 1 : I'm Not That Girl

You say you're down

Can't loose that frown

Life sucks. What else is new? That's tough

There's not much you can do

You're not the only one not havin' any fun

-Cheer up by Reel Big Fish

* * *

**February 26th, 2006**

My eyes barely paid attention the rough city as I stared out the window. I did not care that the buildings were rusted and close to falling down. I did not care that the cars that were parked on the sides of the streets were broken down and had parts stripped out from under the hood and thrown on the road. I did not care about the young and old women that were standing on the corners or in the shadows waiting for a car to pull up and take their pick. I did not even pay attention to the three men walking down the street, clearly carrying guns on their hips. I did not care what the city was like or what it was not like. This city was my home. My birthplace.

And I was back.

"Miss?" I looked away from the window and focused on the man at the front of the bus. He was looking at me through the big mirror above him. His face was worried and I did not blame him. "Ya sure ya want to get off here? I can take ya where ever else." he looked almost desperate now. His big brown eyes pleading for me to stay in her broken seat and let him take me back to the better part of town even though his shift was over when he dropped her off.

With what I hoped was a kind and thankful smile, I gathered my three tattered bags and got up from my seat. "No, thank you. I'll be fine here." His face told me that he thought wrong as I walked up the aisle. "Really. I was born here." I assured him but found my voice was as strong as I wanted it to be.

The man looked me up and down but it wasn't condescending. He was simply trying to get a read or view on me. My clothes must have tipped him off that I was not a tough girl. I did not look like the girls that were walking past the bus. "Not to be offensive but, from the looks of you, you haven't been here in a while." It wasn't a question but I could hear the curiosity and inquiry in his voice.

"No, I haven't." I admitted. "It's been about 5 years."

He nodded and turned to sit sideways in his seat. "A lot has changed. It was bad then but it is even worse now. People 'round here," he motioned to the streets that awaited her outside the bus. "They don't go easy on people. They don't ask for anything, they take it." I could feel a fresh wave of tears form behind my eyes. This man was a stranger to me when I stepped on this bus less than three hours ago and now he was trying to make sure I was safe.

I took a deep breath and smile at him. "I understand. If anything happens I'll leave right away." I promised. He shook his head and reached for one of the cards that were for the bus company.

"I'm stationed here in town," he said as he wrote something down on the back of the card. "I don't have another run for three days. If you have any problems," he held the card out to me and I took it. "Call this number and I'll come pick you up from where ever you are. Okay?" I felt a tear fall down my cheek when I nodded my head. "Promise me, Miss."

I wiped the tear off and smiled a teary smile. "I'm Sarah and I promise that if anything happens I'll call you." He tipped his hat at her and opened the doors behind her.

"I'm Ray and I'll be at your service Miss. Sarah."

When I stepped off the bus, I looked around. The things that I did not pay attention to all of sudden were closing in on me. Bad thoughts attacked me and tried to scare me back onto the bus, which was still waiting behind me.

What if the people with the guns try to mug me? What if they shoot me, will I die or would I be lucky enough to live? What if a car pulls up and thinks that I'm a prostitute, would he try to force me in the car? Would he attack me to get what he needs?

Ray's gentle voice broke through the scary haze. "It's not too late to turn back." I turned back to the bus and sighed. I could not run away. I was tired of not doing something I wanted or needed to do because it was scary.

I was tired of being a coward.

Therefore, whether it was an act of stupidity or strength, I shook my head and heaved the straps of two of my bags onto my shoulder. "No, I'll be fine and if that changes, I'll call you." I held up his card and put it in my front pocket. "Thanks for everything, Ray." I stepped back when he closed the doors and slowly pulled back onto the almost deserted street.

I looked around again and sighed.

Now, I am all alone, I thought.

I heard a high-pitched giggled and turned to see a young girl step out of a dark red BMW. Her hair was a horribly bleached blond color and it was messy. She stumbled when she stepped out but caught herself before she fell on her face. The car she got out of drove off, leaving her waving with one hand while the other tried to fix her hair. I know it was rude to stare but I could not help it. The girl did not look much older than I did, maybe 20 years old. She was wearing a skintight mini-tube dress with black fishnet stockings. Her black heels looked like something that I would see on Pamela Anderson. However, it wasn't her clothes that concerned me.

It was her face and her body. Her eyes were blue but they weren't the usual beautiful blue that everyone else's was. They were dull and hazy looking. Her body was not much better either. It was all skin and bones. Her legs were grotesque. I could see every bone in them and they had bruises and cuts everywhere. It looked like she had nicked herself while she shaved. Her cheeks were like small craters in her face and her lips were thin and chapped. She looked like a complete mess but her laugh, as she walked into the shadows to meet with three others girls, said that she did not care.

That was what made me turn around.

* * *

**March 3rd, 2006**

"House keeping! House keeping!"

I groaned into my pillow and hit my fists on the bed. I was getting tired of this. Granted, I did not have anywhere else to go but waking up at 8 am every morning was getting on my nerves. The housekeeper, Sandra, kept reminding me that if she went away, I would have to clean my own room but if it gave me an extra hour of sleep, I would clean the ceiling.

"Get up, Sarah. Housekeeping!"

With a small screech, I threw the coves back from my body and ran to the door. I unlocked the hatch and swung the door open for her. Before I could see her smirk, I turned on my heels and marched away to the bathroom, this was the last thing she cleaned.

I stood in front of the mirror with both hands gripping the edge of the counter and my head bowed. I was stressed. I was out of energy and I was on the verge of a mental breakdown. I hadn't had a reason to call Ray but I did anyway. I called to tell him that I was okay and that I was staying at the Hotel 6: Extended Stay. He sounded happy to hear that and made me promise to check in from now on.

The thought of him made me smile. He was a good old man. He barely knew me and he was trying to take care of me. He did not care that we had different color skin or not, he treated me like a daughter. Well, more like granddaughter since he was almost 60 years old. He just wanted me safe and, in a city like this, it is good to have someone who looks out for you and would know if you went missing.

I jumped when I heard a knock on the bathroom door. I walked to the door with a frown on my face. I know I was not thinking long enough for Sandra to finish the bedroom. I pulled it open and smiled shyly at her.

"Sorry, I'm cranky in the mornings." I apologized. Sandra smiled at me and waved her hand dismissively.

"It's alright, child." she assured me. "I just wanted to let you know I was stepping out for a minute. I left the sheets in the main room and need to go fetch them."

I nodded to the door. "Okay. I will leave it unlocked so you can use your key. I'm just about to jump in the shower so I'll try to make it quick." She smiled sadly and touched my arm.

"Still no job?" she asked and I shook my head. "Well, just keep looking. You're a good girl and anyone would be happy to hire you." she patted my arm and turned around. I shut the bathroom door again and walked back to the sink. This time I looked at myself and thought about the prostitute from my first night here.

We were almost opposites of each other yet we still favored one another. I had the natural bleached blond look and the bright blue eyes that I'm sure she had at one point before she lost her. I guess that is why I stared at her. I knew that is what I would look like if I lost myself. I would be that skinny, gray looking girl. I would be the one that laughed about being with three men at a time. Luckily, I was bound and determined not to be that girl and, if I did ever become her, I would hate every second of it.

"I didn't come here to loose myself." I reminded myself aloud. "I came here to find myself. To find answers." Shaking the image of the girl from my mind, I stripped out of my clothes and started my shower.

I only had 25 minutes of steamy bliss before Sandra knocked on my door and yelled for me to hurry up. I managed to snag a clean towel from her and wrap it around my body as I walked into my room. She promptly walked into the bathroom and closed the door so I could get dressed in private. This was our routine. I pulled out a pair of dark blue skinny jeans and black tunic. I slipped them on and yelled to her that it was safe to open the door, which she did.

I sat on the bed to pull my black boots on and looked over at her. "I'm going to go in a few minutes. Just shut the door behind you if you're not done." She nodded as she wiped down the bathroom counter. Before I left, I walked over to the mirror behind the dresser and quickly brushed some powder on my face and added a little mascara.

Stepping outside the hotel was still a little scary for me. Inside the hotel, I was safe. No one could enter the area for the rooms without a key and no one could get into my room easily. We also had hotel security walking through the halls 24/7. Outside of the hotel, I was vulnerable. Anyone could attack me. Sometimes I felt that everyone I walked past was out to get me. They just looked so rough. So downtrodden. They people and the city were nothing like my city and its people in Albany, NY. Granted, the part of town my mother and me lived in was not the rich part of town but it was safe. The houses were not rusting or in need of a major re-painting.

Walking alone in Albany was okay. Walking alone in Boston was okay, only if you had a pocketknife or a can or two of mace, which I bought the morning after I got here.

"God, I'm glad I saved up my money." I muttered to myself as I walked down the street to the bus stop. My job at the local veterinarian's office paid off nicely. Just working there for 6 months, I saved up enough money for my bus ticket, two weeks for the hotel room, money for food and still had money left for emergencies. I was just hoping I found a job before my two weeks at the hotel was up so I could pay for another without having to use my safe cash.

"Hey, miss! Need a ride?" I turned my head to the right and saw a black car pull up to the side of the road where the bus was supposed to park. I was about to look around to see who the person was talking about until I saw Ray's head pop out of the window.

"Oh hey, Ray." I smiled and walked over to the car. He opened the door for me and I shook my head. "Oh, I'm running around today. Still looking for a job." I told him and he laughed.

"You'll spend a lot of money on the buses runnin' 'round like you want to." he informed me and pointed to the open door. "Get in. I'll take ya 'round town to help ya find a job." I got into the passenger's side and closed the door.

"Thanks. You're a savior." I set my purse in the floorboard and buckled my seatbelt as he drove off. "Where's Maggie at?" I asked. Maggie was his wife and had talked to me a couple times when I called Ray. I had never met her but she seemed like a nice woman. Just as sweet and caring as Ray.

"She had to go into work today," he told me. "That's why I'm over here on this side of town. I thought I'd stop by and see how the job hunt was and saw ya walking to the bus stop." he smiled over at me and I laughed.

"Well, I'm warning you now. I'm pretty cranky in the mornings. Still want to be my driver?" I teased. He shot me a look that said he wouldn't be leaving me and I shook my head smiling.

Even though spending the day with Ray was great, I didn't have any luck at finding a job. We went everywhere we could imagine and either they were not hiring or they would call me back in a few days. Ray said I would get a call back in a day or two but I had more pessimistic thoughts. At 5 o'clock, Maggie called to tell him she was off work and he had to leave. We were grabbing an early dinner when she called and I told him to go ahead and leave. He didn't want to but the diner we were at was only a few blocks from the hotel and I didn't want Maggie waiting forever.

Finally, I got him to leave and I finished eating my dinner. I looked up at the sky as I walked out and frowned when I could not see the stars.

"Damn city lights." I murmured and threw my purse strap over my shoulder. The day's events came back to me as I walked down the buzzing street.

Not only did I find out why Ray took such a liking to me but also I found out that Maggie was a white woman. Ray said I reminded him of Maggie's daughter, Melony, from her first marriage. He said Mel was a little older than I was when she moved to Boston to be on her own. At the time, Maggie and Ray lived about two hours out in a nice neighborhood and were less than thrilled to hear that Maggie was moving to the rough and tough city. I remember the look on his face when he told me about the phone call they got from the Boston PD saying that Mel was dead.

'She was murdered, Sarah.' Ray had said, shaking his slowly as he stirred his coffee. 'A guy attacked her while she was at home. He broke in and stabbed her 10 times before he finally left her alone. Alone to die in a gutter. That was almost 10 years ago.'

The look on his face was heart breaking and I soon found myself crying over my food. I felt so close to Maggie and Ray already and hearing about Mel made me feel like I lost a sister or a friend. I could not imagine getting a call saying my child was dead. It was horrible.

I wiped at my eyes again and looked around the streets. They were dangerous. I knew that before I got here but each day made me realize just how bad this part of town was. I did not remember it being this bad when I loved here. I was 13 when my mom moved us so I cannot say it was too long ago. It had only been 5 years but my view of this town was not what I thought it was.

A strange feeling passed through me as I crossed the main street. I'm not sure what made me look behind me but I thank God for it. There was a guy walking behind me. He was about a block away and usually I wouldn't have been worried but he had on a hat, sunglasses and gloves. He was hiding his face. I turned back around and picked up my pace a little. I saw an alley not too far in front of me and before I could change my mind or call myself an idiot for thinking about going into the alley, I broke out into a sprint. I could not hear anything behind me, footsteps or voices, but I kept running until I got to the alley. I ran down to the end of the alley. Thankfully, it had an opening at the end and I ran out on the street it opened up to.

I squeezed my eyes shut and leaned up against the building, trying to catch my breath. I poked my head back into the alley and breathed a sigh of relief when I did not see anyone.

"Great. I'm getting paranoid." I laughed breathlessly but I still felt the thin layer of panic that held my body. I looked at my surroundings and sighed. I did not want to go back to the other street but I still was not used to this city. I was afraid I would get lost.

Which I did about half an hour later. I stomped my feet on the ground and gritted my teeth as I passed the same bar for the fourth time that night. I think the road I was on was a big circle or something. I tried getting back to the main road but there wasn't any more alleys' down the street and by the time I got back to the street, I had lost the first alley I traveled down. I looked over at the bar and grimaced.

It looked run down, like everything else in the city, and it had a lot of bikes and old muscle cars in the parking lot. I knew it was filled with tough guys that could probably break me with one squeeze but I needed directions back to the hotel. My last resort would be calling Ray to come pick me up. So, with my mind made up, I walked to the bar and prayed that bikers did not smell fear.

I gasped when I stepped in the bar. It was smoky, which immediately made my gasp turn into a horrible cough. It smelled like alcohol, smoke, puke and...Honestly, it smelled like sex. Why it smelt like sex, I do not know but it did. I made my way through the huge, drunk men and tiny, drunk women to the bar and looked for someone to talk to. A younger blond girl caught my eye and I waved to her. She held up her index finger to tell me to hang on and I nodded. A minute later, she walked over.

"Can I help you?" she asked. I looked around nervously and smiled.

"Umm, I'm lost." I admitted and she laughed a little. She looked down to where she just was and pointed to the back of the bar. "I'm going to take a break. Be back in five." The man she yelled to wave her away and she motioned for me to follow her. I did and we squeezed our way through the crowd. I tried not to look at anyone, but when the girl walked past two tables that were pushed together, I could not help it.

All the men sitting there had the same tattoos. Black tribal tattoos that were tattooed in places ranging from their arms to their faces. All of them looked completely drunk and a few looked spaced out too. I guess they did drugs. Hell, from the matching tattoos, they might have sold them. I'm not sure what it was about them that made me shiver but it creeped me out a little. The girl grabbed my hand as we passed them and I looked to where she was taking us. It was a narrow but long hallway that ended at a single door.

When we were about half way to the back door, I realized what the sex smell was. I noticed the hallway had a few doors that led to rooms and as we past those open doors; I got a nice view of a woman's surgically enhanced chest. I gasped a little and the girl paused in front of the door.

"My God, Billy. Close the damn door!" she groaned. The man that was in the room, I am assuming it was Billy, turned around to glare at us and I gasped again.

The man was utterly scary. He had a few scars over his face and had a baldhead. I assumed he shaved it because he looked no older than mid-late 20's. The no hair thin just added to his dangerous aura. His eyes were hard but a bright, icy blue that made me weak in the knees. His eyes locked with mine and I quickly looked away. The girl pulled me the rest of the way out the door and let it slam behind us.

"Sorry, he's been trying to get her off his case for weeks." she laughed lightly as she lit a cigarette. She held her pack out to me and smiled. "Want one?" I shook my head weakly and leaned against the wall. "You okay?" she asked and walked over to me.

"Who was he?" I whispered. My breath was still gone. She frowned at me and shook her head.

"Billy. I know he is scary but there is no need to fear him. For the most part, he doesn't hurt women," she told me casually. I looked up at her in shock.

"For the most part?" I repeated and pushed myself off the wall. "Actually, don't tell me. I just need directions back to the Motel 6 on Rogers St." She looked at me funny and nodded her head.

"Just go down this road," she said and pointed behind her. "When you get to the end take a left and go until you see Charone Rd. Turn right there and go until you see Rogers." she studied me for a moment and threw her cigarette down. "You alright? What were you doing out here anyways?"

"I was looking for a job today. I got lost on my way back because I thought some guy was following me." I confessed feeling a little bit like an idiot. I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked at the girl.

"You got any mace or anything to protect yourself?" she asked. I nodded and patted my purse. "Good. You'll need it just in case."

"Yeah, I'm starting to learn that." I laughed lightly and she removed her hand. "Thanks for the directions but I have to go now. I don't want to be out here too late." She smiled at me and nodded her head.

"It's okay. I understand." she smiled. I jumped when the back door banged open to reveal the guy she yelled at earlier and, to my utter shock, Billy.

"Break is up, Amanda. Get your ass inside," the guy from behind the bar told her but I barely heard him. Billy was staring at me and I, for some reason, could not look away even after he did. There was something about this man...

"Hey, Sammy wait!" Amanda yelled before he walked back inside. "This girl is looking for a job," she turned to me. "What's your name?" she asked.

"Um Sarah." I croaked out. Billy's head looked back over at me and I swallowed noisily.

"How old are ya, Sarah?" the guy named Sammy asked. Amanda was smiling at me and Billy was still starting at me. God, I hate attention.

I managed to speak after a short pause. "Just turned 18." Sammy shook his head and Amanda frowned.

"Too young. Sorry kid." he said to me and then looked at Amanda. "Inside now." Billy followed him inside and Amanda shrugged her shoulders at me.

"I tried. Sorry, Sarah." she apologized and I waved my hand at her. "Well, it was nice meeting you. Be safe." She walked inside and, once again, I was alone in the city that no one should be alone in. And I still had no job.

"Great ending to a great night."

* * *

**March 4th, 2006**

I stared at the numbers flashing on my bedside clock and frowned.

Sandra should be here soon, I thought.

It was 10 past 8 and I was already awake. Why? I have no idea but I was and I was wide-awake. I knew I should get up and go shower so Sandra would not have to wait on me but I did not want to move. I was tired and even more stressed out that yesterday. I needed a job and I needed a job fast or I would have to go back to my mom's in Albany.

"I'd kill myself before I did that." I mumbled. I rolled over on my back and threw the covers over my face. I briefly thought about adding the pillow but a knock at the door had me up and out of bed in a split second.

"Coming Sandra!" I yelled as I walked to the door. "And I'm not cranky today!" I swung the door open and froze. It wasn't Sandra, it was Amanda. Her blond hair was pulled back into a ponytail and she was smiling at me.

"That's good to hear." she laughed and pointed to my room. "Can I come in? I had a rude awakening and I need some coffee. I know you have some too. I see the pot from here." Still shocked I pushed the door aside and let her come in. How did she know what room I was in? Moreover, why was she here?

"No offense, but why are you here? And how did you know what room I was in?" I asked as she started to make a pot of coffee. She looked over her shoulder at me and smiled.

"I come baring good news." she said and turned back to the coffee pot. "Important news."

"Okay but how did you know what room was mine?" I asked again. She stopped what she was doing and stood up straight to turn back to me.

"I asked the desk clerk?" It sounded more like a question than an answer. I folded my arms across my chest and stared at her.

"How did you know my name?" I asked and she frowned.

"You told me last night, remember?" she looked nervous now and I did not know why.

"I only told you my first name." I reminded her. She paused for a split second and then smiled.

"You were the only Sarah they had here so it wasn't hard and your last name wasn't needed." she turned back to the coffee pot and finished setting it up. "But you're missing the point of my visit. I told you I had good news," she reminded me and I sighed as I sat down on the bed. I was too tired to try to interrogate her anymore.

"Okay, so what's the news?" I asked through a yawn. She spun around excitedly and grinned at me.

"You got the job!" she exclaimed. Apparently, my body was not the only thing tired because my brain was not processing that information that she just threw at me. My face must have been utterly confused because she sighed dramatically and put her hands on her hips. "At the bar? Remember? Sammy said you could have the job if you wanted."

I was confused. "But I thought I was too young?" Amanda leaned back on my dresser and flung her hand out to wave off my words.

"Pfft. We are low on people and you need a job. He was just cranky last night," she said. "So you want the job?" she asked. I wanted to ask more questions but I couldn't. I needed a job and one just got thrown in my lap.

"Umm sure." I accepted and she clapped her hands before moving to pour herself a cup of coffee.

"Great." she smiled and took a short sip of her coffee. "Welcome to the Four Roses."

* * *

**This is a peek at the old Sarah. The one that disappeared after she met Billy. This wasn't the original chapter 1 but I fogured you might want to see how she was before she became a face-breaking bitch. :)**


	3. Chapter 2 : Dangerous Men

**Okay so I guess you can say the first parts are almost like a dairy and that the last part is kind of like the narrator's talk...lol. Look at it however you want. Next chapter picks up with the good stuff...and a nice steamy scene. This is more of a catch up and lead up to the big event. It's also some major foreshadowing if you catch it. ;)**

**

* * *

**

**March 6th, 2006**

Oh boy, I was a wreck. A nervous wreck that had to be to work in half an hour. Why was I a nervous wreck? Well, let's see. I am going to work at a biker's bar that might or might not be full of gang members. My job at said biker's bar/gang bar will be a bartender, which I'm legally not supposed to be doing. I had never been in a bar before last night and now I was being thrown in without any kind of bar or bar tending experience.

"Calm down, child." Sandra chuckled under her breathed as she wiped down my TV with a dry dust cloth. "It's Monday. They should not be too awful busy tonight. Plus, didn't I hear that girl say that she would show you the ropes?" she asked as I checked my reflection in the full-length mirror again. Amanda did tell me that she would help me out my first few nights. She also told me that I had to be sexy.

I was not sexy. I didn't look sexy nor did I dress sexy. That is why Amanda loaned me a few outfits. I had a hard time figuring out what I wanted to wear and for good reason. All of them showed way too much skin for my liking. The shirts dipped low to show off any cleavage the owner might have and the skirts were so short that when I looked in the mirror at my backside I could see the curve of my butt if I moved the wrong way.

After trying on all three outfits numerous times I settled on a dark washed blue jean skirt that was made to look worn and a black halter that had a dip to the middle of my breasts. It also had a pretty little silver chain hanging from the ties behind my neck that tickled my bare back when I moved. I completed the outfit with a pair of knee high leather boots that had a very dangerous pointed heel on them. With my make done all dark and smoky, I actually looked good. Somewhat grungy but chic.

"You look fine." Sandra sighed. I smiled at her in the mirror and mused my hair with a hand. "But you're going to be late if you ogle yourself any longer." I looked over at the clock and sighed. It was almost 7 pm and I had to be there by 7:45 pm.

"Alright, alright." I mumbled and peeled myself away from the mirror. I grabbed my purse and made sure had my ID and some money in case I needed it. Yes, I was thinking of all possible and horrible things that could go wrong. I also had my can of mace tucked away in an inside side pocket. "Well, I guess I'll see you later, Sandra. Thanks for stopping by tonight."

She smiled at me as she started cleaning the mirror was just at. "No problem, honey. You just be careful, okay?"

"Yes, ma'am."

****

The moment I walked in the door I wanted to turn back around and bolt. It was packed. I mean, there were no seats available at all. People were lined up against every wall scouting empty seats or soon to be empty seats. I could already feel my palms sweating, which was bad if I was going to hand people their drinks.

"Sarah!" I heard a female's voice yell over all the noise and music. However, all that noise seemed to quiet when Amanda waved over to me. Everyone turned to stare at me and I could feel my whole body burning in embarrassment. I nodded to a few people, who surprisingly enough nodded back, as I made my way over to Amanda. She smiled widely and held her arms out. "Your first night and you'll make loads of money."

"Not if I spill drinks on someone." I scoffed. She rolled her eyes at me and took my purse to set it behind the bar. I took the time to look at her outfit. It was similar to mine but she was wearing shorts that appeared to be cut off, most likely by her. She was also wearing a black top but hers was a simple blank tank that had a picture of a Harley on it. She must have caught me looking at her because when she came back she started talking about her clothes.

"I was going to wear a skirt and a similar top to yours but I forgot that I left the shirt at the cleaners and my skirt was dirty." She pointed down to her boots and grinned. "But I wore the same boots you did. I just knew you were going to pick this outfit."

"How?" I asked curiously. She winked at me and grabbed my arm.

"Because it shows less skin than the others." She already knew me too well and I could not help but laugh.

"Do I look that uncomfortable?" I asked and she looked me up and down.

"Not too much." she told me. "It's just confidence. Even if you don't know what you are doing, act like you do. All these people want is beer and shots. It's not fancy up in here. Come on. I'll show you around a little while Sammy has everyone pacified."

I followed her around to the other side of the bar and she started to give me the tiny and quick tour. She showed me where the frozen mugs were at and where the cool ones were. Then she showed me the tubs of beer. Each tub had a different kind of beer in it and in each tub were the different kinds of that beer (ranging from regular to light with lime). She showed me where all the shots glasses were and then took me to the wall of liquor bottles. I must have blanched when she showed me all the bottles because she told me that not all of them get used and after a while, I would learn where the most used bottles are. She also went through a list of drinks that weren't straight up shots. Some of them I knew and others I was lost.

"It'll be okay. Again, we are not fancy here. It's unlikely that we get mixed drinks here. These guys are tough. They take their whiskey and tequila straight," she told me when she finished the behind the bar tour. Next, she took me to the storeroom to show me where I would get the beer and liquor for when it would run low. There was also a small refrigerator back there to keep the limes and lemons cool.

After showing me how to use the register and how to write up tabs, she walked to the other end of the bar and told me to get on it.

I stood there for a second before I noticed a man staring at me. I walked over to him and smiled.

"Can I get you anything?" I asked. He nodded but did not say anything. Then I noticed his eyes were focused on my chest. I groaned and looked over at Amanda. She was kind of flirting with the guy she was talking to. I looked back at the guy in front of me and smiled again. "You gonna stare at them all night or are you going to order something? I'd like to know so I can move on to the next guy." He looked up and met my eyes.

"Just a beer. Miller." he told me with a smirk. I grabbed his beer from the ice packed tub and handed it to him. He slid me two dollars and I went to the cash register to ring him up. I saw Amanda nod at me and I sighed. My first beer served. A night's worth more to go.

* * *

**March 18th, 2006**

I hear the soft knocking on the door but I don't move. I'm tired and still trashed from last night. Though my first few nights at the bar were a disaster, with me dropping at least five beers every night and shattering more than enough shot glasses, I was doing better. I was also drinking. Sammy frowned upon it but he did not say anything. He was starting to surprise me. I honestly expected him to fire me my second night when I spilled a beer all over a customer. However, for some reason I still had my job and I still had a hangover from last night, which just happened to be St. Patrick's Day.

The knocking continued and I reluctantly pulled myself out of bed. I stumbled to the door and looked out the peephole.

"Ray?" I called through the door. He looked into the peephole and grinned. I unlocked the door and let him in. "Hey, what are you doing here?" I asked as I made my way back to my bed to sit down. He took a seat in the chair and stared at me intently.

"I thought I'd treat you to breakfast. It's a tradition Maggie and I have." he told me. "Were you drinking last night?" I covered my mouth when I yawned and shook my head.

"No." I lied. He raised a brow at me and I groaned. "Yes. I told everyone not to bother buying me anything but they did anyways. Amanda said it was rude to refuse a drink." He chuckled a little.

"Ahh, it's rude to tell a girl that too." he said and reached over to pat my knee. "Go on and get freshened up. Breakfast will make you feel better." I stumbled my way back through the room, gathering clothes as I went, and headed for the shower. The shower woke me up but it did not get rid of my headache. Ray assured me that breakfast would do that but I was doubtful.

That all changed when I walked into the Denny's. I smelled the bacon and eggs and my mouth watered.

"Oh my God, I'm starving." I groaned. Ray chuckled as he made his way through the dining room. While I was looking at the food on people's plates as we passed them, I didn't even notice that older woman sitting at the table Ray had stopped at. Hell, I almost ran into Ray.

"Sorry." I mumbled and looked over at the woman that I presumed was Maggie. She was about Ray's age with white blond hair that was pinned to the top of her head. She looked like a peaceful woman. Kind. "Hi, you must be Maggie. I'm Sarah." I held my hand out and she took it graciously.

"Oh, I've heard a lot about you, Sarah." she beamed and pointed to the seat across from her. "Here sit. You look like death, child." I heard Ray chuckled under his breath as he took a seat next to her. "It's nice to finally put a face to the voice. How are you liking your stay in Boston?"

"It's okay. A little intimidating but I like it." I told her honestly. She nodded her head and waved a waiter over.

"That's good." The waiter walked over and she nodded to him. "Order what you like. It's on me, darling." I had the overwhelming urge to cry at that moment. She was as kind as Ray, maybe even more so, and she did not even know me. I pushed the tears back and order an egg omelet with ham, cheese and onions in it. I got an order of bacon on the side too.

Conversation flowed easily while we ate. Maggie told me more about her daughter. Ray told me funny stories from the bus trips he has taken. I told them a few stories about the bar and my mishaps.

"You said it was the Four Roses?" Maggie asked. I saw her cast a look to Ray, who did not look up.

"Um yeah. It's not too far from my hotel." I answered, trying to make out the look in her eyes. "I know it's not the safest place but-"

"Trust me, Sarah." Ray interrupted me. "That bar is the safest place for you." I got chills from the way he said 'you.' I smiled at him and cut off a piece of my omelet.

Maggie broke the silence with a un-lady like belch that got all of us laughing. The conversation flowed again after that and I found myself feeling comfortable with the two of them. They made me think of the grandparents I did have. Hell, they reminded me of the parents I did not have either.

Oh, that reminded me.

"Where can I get minutes for a prepaid phone?" I asked. Though I was not planning on calling her back, my mother had left me numerous messages on my phone. It took a couple days for my phone to ring but I figured once her drunken haze disappeared, she finally realized I was gone and tried to call me. "It's a regular Nextel phone."

"The old gas station at the end of the road has some." Ray told me. "I'll stop by there on the way to your hotel and let you get some."

Now I had the means to call her, would I?

* * *

**May 1st, 2006**

The days started flying by after that first full week. Before I knew it, I had been working at the bar for almost two months. Ray and Maggie took me to breakfast every Sunday morning and I had dinner with them every Wednesday night. That happened to be my only night off but I did not mind spending it with them. It felt like a normal family thing to do and that meant a lot me.

That afternoon as I was getting ready for work my phone rang. I ended up poking myself in the eye with my mascara wand but the pain was soon lost. It was my father on the phone. I had not talked to him since before I moved to Boston so he was in for a big surprise. I cried of course when he called my by my nickname, doll, and he tried to get me to calm down.

When I could finally talk again, I told him I had some big news. I heard the change in his voice but I couldn't tell what the difference was. I told him that I moved away from my mom and moved to Boston. To my utter shock, he did not sound all that surprised but he almost hid it well. He asked me where I was staying and why I moved and the questions made me forget what I was curious about. I told him about working at the bar and I didn't get the response I was looking for. Instead, of yelling at me for working in a bar like I thought he would, he simply told me to be safe. The time to hang up came too soon though. I cried again but he promised that he would call me as soon as he could and he would try to talk longer next time.

That night I walked into the bad with a huge smile on my face.

"Oh, you look happy." Amanda laughed as I prance behind the bar. "Did you like fall down the happy tree or something?" I rolled my eyes at her lame joke and stuffed my purse behind the bar.

"No, I haven't had the luck in meeting the happy tree. However, I did get a call from my dad today." I heard a loud clink and I looked over to see Bodie and Joe wiping up a spilled beer. My brows furrowed when I saw that Billy's head was tilted this way, as if he were listening to our conversation.

"Really?" Amanda nodded absently and scrubbed at the glass she was wiping off. "What did he have to say?" I sat down at the bar and shrugged my shoulders.

"We didn't get to talk long but I did tell him that I moved here." I chuckled a little and reached for the rag that Amanda laid down. "He wasn't as mad as I thought he'd be. He just told me to be safe." Amanda smiled at me and handed me my apron.

"He must have a lot of faith in Boston, huh?" she asked. I nodded my head and laughed as I tied the apron on. The night, as usual, went by in a flash and when I was able to take a break, I walked out back with Amanda. She lit up a cigarette and I sat down on a brown crate by the door.

"What's up with that Billy guy?" I asked. Amanda looked at me like grew a third eye and I smiled. "I know it came out of no where but he hasn't said one word to me since I've been here. Every night I work, he gets you to bring him his drinks. He ignores the hell out of me. Am I that bad of a bar tender?" I asked starting to feel a little self-conscious. Amanda took a long drag off her cigarette before speaking.

"Billy's just picky about who he gets served by." she told me slowly, as if she was trying to find the right words. "He's just picky about everything and he doesn't trust a lot of people." she started sounding more confident and looked over at me. "He's not one for change."

* * *

**May 25th, 2006 **

"I have to go, Sammy!" I yell down to the end of the bar. Sammy's messy mop of dark hair swishes as he snaps his head over to me.

"We're fucking slammed!" he yells back and points to the people crowding the bar. "Serve them and then you can leave." I clench my hands at my sides and grit my teeth as I turn to the customers. Once, again I start serving drinks. My shift was over an hour ago and I still was not able to leave. I was not alone though. Amanda also had the night off but both late night bar tenders were late for their shift so we were stuck covering their asses.

About twenty minutes later, the other bar tenders walk in and I run over to Amanda, who's talking with her brother at Billy's table. She looks over at me as I come up to her.

"This is our chance. The girls showed up." I pointed behind me and she sighed when she saw the other girls taking orders.

"Good. I'm tired as hell." she looked at her watch and grimaced. "You did say it was cool to crash at your room after I get done with you, right?" I nod my head quickly and she laughs. "I get it, you're in a hurry." She walked past me to go get her purse and walks back.

"What are you ladies doing tonight?" Baggy, her brother, asks.

"I'm going to help her get ready for her date and then I'm crashing," she announced. I felt the heat of a glare on me and I turn to see Billy standing behind me.

"A date, huh?" he asked casually, as if we have had millions of conversation. He sips is beer and looked at me. "Who is he?" I am too shocked to speak so Amanda does it for me.

"Just a guy she met the other night." Amanda grabs my arm and tugs me from the table. Before she gets me too far, another hand grabs my free arm. I see Billy's hand twisted around my upper arm and I mentally start to freak out. He leaned his head down to my ear and blew the hair from the side of my face.

"You really shouldn't date random guys in Boston," he whispered into my ear, sending shivers down my spine. "It could be dangerous." That said, Billy got up and walked out of the bar. His beer was untouched and his boys were silent. I felt a hand on my arm and numbly looked at Amanda. She had an uncertain look on her face as she nudged me to move.

I shook off the odd feeling and tried to psych myself up for my date again. I would not let Billy's odd first words bother me. Tonight was the start of a new life here in Boston.

* * *

_**Present: **_**Sunday, January ****4th, 2009**

That night was my first date with Jeremy. He was tall, dark and handsome. He was charming and made me think that chivalry was not dead after all. His bright eyes looked deep into my soul every time he looked at me. And his touch made my go weak in the knees. The date went off without a hitch. So did the second date and the third. Everything was fine and dandy with us for a while. He would take me back and forth to work. He never stayed or drank but he was there every night in the parking lot waiting for me.

That is until late fall came around.

That night was also the first time Billy Darley ever spoke to me. I shook his words off that night but they came back to haunt me later on. May 25th might have been the first night Billy spoke to me but it was not the last. In the middle of a cold and snowy December, he rocked my world and shook my very being from its foundation.

"Hurry it up, babe!" Billy yelled form outside the bathroom door. Why he did not just come in and yell at me, I was not sure. "We've gotta be at Denny's in half an hour." I rolled my eyes and reluctantly turned the knobs on the shower. I opened the shower door and grabbed my white cotton robe from the hook on the wall.

"You can come in." I called through the door. It opened as I ran my fingers through my sopping wet hair. I looked over at Billy and grinned. I loved it when he dressed nicely. He looked like walking sex when he wore hit black button up shirt and clean, not ripped, blue jeans.

He leaned against the doorframe and raked his eyes up my body. "You're too tempting with water on you. I didn't want to delay us any longer," he said. I rolled my eyes as I chuckled.

"To you I'm tempting in every way." I yelped a little when his hands roughly pushed up the bottom of my robe. I was not sure how he got behind me so quick but I didn't want to think about that too much while his hands were busy. It would be rude to ignore them.

His lips pressed against my ear and I groaned when his tongue flicked out and ran up and down my outer ear. "You are tempting in every way. Wear a paper bag as a dress and I'll walk around sporting a tent." I giggled like a little girl and pushed him away with my butt.

"You are incorrigible." I told him and he smirked. "Now let me get dressed so we don't keep Mags and Ray waiting."

I waited until he left the bathroom before returning to my thoughts. I know he could not read my mind or anything but somehow he could tell when I was thinking about Jeremy. He said once that my face went horribly pale and I looked like I had seen a ghost. I knew for a fact that I had not always looked like that when I thought of Jeremy. Amanda would tell you that I went gooey eyed when I thought of him.

Back then, I had a reason to go gooey eyed for him. Now, I can't help but want to cry or shake in fear when I hear his name. I look in the mirror and can remember the damage he did. I also remember the damage Billy gave him not long after it all hit the fan.

I remember when he left that night. He said he was going to take care of it. He said that he would make sure Jeremy never came near me again. Stupid me, I tried to stop him. I tried to tell him that whatever it was he was going to do would just make matters worse. I said that it would cause trouble. I was tired of trouble. He looked at me and I flinched away from his hateful gaze. Before he walked out the door, he told me there would be no more trouble. I paced the floors that night over a million times. I looked out the window every time I heard a car or saw lights pass by. Five hours after he originally left, Billy Darley came back. He was covered in blood and I knew whose it was. I knew that he had kept good on his promises. I knew that Jeremy would never come near me again. I knew that he would never have to cause me any kind of trouble so long as I lived.

And for some reason, I did not care. I wanted to stop him earlier that night but when I saw the blood smudged on his cheeks and coated on his fists, I was joyous. I was free. I was safe. And never again would I have to fear Boston or the dangerous men that inhabited it.

* * *

_Give it some time to sink in  
Just give me some time to figure it out  
Just give me some time to think here  
Just give it some time  
and you'll get what you deserve_

You'll get what you deserve, you'll get what you deserve  
You'll get what you deserve, you'll get what's coming  
You'll get what you deserve, you'll get what you deserve  
You'll get what you deserve, you'll get what's coming  
You'll get what's coming

- What You Deserve by Theory of a Deadman


	4. Chapter 3 : Touchy Feely Game

_**Present – January 4th, 2009**_

For the most part, my nightmares have left me. The rest of the time, they come when Billy is not around. A weird part of me thinks that the nightmares are scared t roar their ugly heads when he is around. It's as if they know I am more vulnerable when Billy is not with me, which is true. I am at my weakest when I am not around him. If he further than the street outside our apartment, I am mess. It sound horrible and makes me seem like I am dependent on him but I'm not. I just cannot function without him. He is a huge part of me and I have to have him.

He keeps me safe. He keeps me sane. He keeps me happy.

The only thing that could possibly make me unhappy, unsafe, or insane is if the dreams were more often. Therefore, Billy is, in theory, my dream catcher. If any horrible nightmares come my way, he will scare them away.

Unfortunately, every so often, my dream catcher is off duty and I am assaulted with horrid nightmares. Tonight was one of those nights.

I'm not even sure why I'm saying nightmares, it's only one. The same one that haunts me any chance it can. It starts the same and it ends the same. Hell, I am not even sure it has supposed to be called nightmare. What I dream of when Billy was away, happened not only while I slept but in real life.

It happened that winter.

* * *

_**December 23rd, 2006**_

I shut the bathroom door tightly behind me. Jeremy was asleep in the bed and I did not want to wake him. It was eight at night and he sat on his ass all day but I still didn't want to wake him. I flicked the lights on and grimaced.

My face looked a lot better than it had three days ago but just because it was healing, did not mean it was looking better. Instead of the black and blue bruises on my cheek and around my eye, there was a pale yellowish bruise that looked green in places, in their place. At least I could cover these up with make up. Amanda had tried to cover them up when I first got them but failed. She then demanded that I stay away from the bar and try to stay inside. I wanted to ask why she was so insistent but I didn't. I didn't want to go outside anyways. I didn't want people to see my face.

So I called Sammy and lied. I said that I was very sick and told him that Amanda promised to cover all my shifts. Then I called Ray and told him the same lie. He was harder to convince though.

"Let Maggie and me come over and help you get better," he pleaded over the phone. "Better yet, come over and stay with us for a few days."

I rejected his offer and told him that Jeremy and Amanda were taking care me. Part of that was a lie. Amanda was taking care of me. She brought me food and more make up for when it got lighter.

Jeremy, on the other hand, walked around like my face was fine. He kissed my cheek as if it was its normal rosy color. He kissed my nose like it had not been bleeding profusely a few days before. He acted like he did not do it to me.

I washed and moisturized my face before applying the make up. I closed my eyes and rubbed the foundation all over my face, hoping and praying that when I opened my eyes, I would look like me again. I honestly hated wearing liquid foundation but I had to now. I opened my eyes and sighed in relief.

I looked normal.

I text Sammy to let him know that I would be coming in tonight. He would be happy and so would Amanda. She had been working her ass off the past few days. I promised that I would let her take a few days off to make up for it but she said she was not worried about it.

I flipped my phone open when it vibrated.

_thank god, manda is running on fumes_

I hit reply and sent him one back.

_no worries. i'll make her take time off to refuel._

I closed the phone knowing he would not text back. He was not a big texter. I finished putting my make up on and fixed my hair. Half an hour later, my barely clothed ass was carefully walking out the door of my hotel room. I would have had an apartment by now but Jeremy liked living in a hotel room. He thought it was cool. I thought he was an idiot.

I usually let Jeremy take me to work but, again, I didn't want to wake him up. Instead, I decided to give my little car some attention. I bought it about three months ago from a friend of Ray's. The 2002 Honda Civic was in pretty good condition and the man graciously sol it to me for a little over a thousand dollars. I knew it was much more but he said that I looked like I needed a good car. I found out later that Ray put down an extra $700 before I even saw the car. Apparently, he knows my taste in cars.

I made my way to the bar and saw that Amanda was outside waiting for. She was leaning up against the wall when I got out of the car. As soon as she saw me, she pushed herself off the wall and met me halfway.

"How's your face?" she asked in a whisper. I moved my hair out of my face and she sighed. "Good. It looks much better. Where's asshole?" she growled and looked at my car.

"Home, sleeping, drunk." I told her. She snorted and walked with me inside. Amanda hated Jeremy from the first time she met him. She was while he was in sight but the first time he went to the bathroom, she went off.

"He looks like a prick," she told me harshly. "He's staring at other girls. He's so not being touchy with you. He's arrogant too."

I could not hold in my laughter after she said that. We had only been dating for like two weeks and we weren't that serious so it didn't bother me that he wasn't all over me in public. I was not that type of girl anyways. Displays of affection should be as far away from the public eye as they can get.

"So you wanna come by my place before you head back to your hell hole?" Amanda asked as we walked behind the bar. I heard a few of our regulars' chuckle at her comment and I turned to them.

"Oh, butt out boys." I demanded jokingly. They all knew Amanda did not like my boyfriend. Come to think of it, no one really liked him. Not even me at times.

"Yeah, this is a January and February conversation so March yourself right out of it." Amanda teased. And just like that, I was feeling better.

The night rolled by fast. Amanda took the floor and I took the bar with Sammy. We worked well together. He would take one side and I would take the other. People who favored me went to my side and vice versa. I enjoyed going to work now that I knew what I was doing. Sammy liked me coming to work now that I knew what I was doing actually. At first, he seemed like an ass but he was a business owner. He needed people to work for him who knew what they were doing. When I started getting the hang of it, he liked me better and wasn't such an ass anymore.

"Alright, girls." Sammy leaned against the bar and looked over at us. "Tonight Billy and the boys have a meeting. Who's staying to be waitress?" he asked.

"It's my turn this week." Amanda said from her barstool. The bar table itself was empty and there was only a few regulars in the bar. They were playing pool until Sammy kicked them out.

"Yeah, but I've been out all week." I told her. "I'll take tonight and you can pick up next week. We'll just go from there." Sammy nodded his head in agreement but Amanda did not like it. She gave me a hard glare.

"No, you should go home." she told me. I felt the air move behind me and saw that the door had opened. Billy and his right hand men had arrived. I saw Sammy walk over to the pool tables and start talking to the guys. "Jeremy knows you aren't supposed to be working late," she whispered as Billy and the guys walked behind her.

"Jeremy is passed out. He won't know I'm late." I ignored the looks the guys were giving me and focused on Amanda. I was used to them staring at me and trying to intrude on my conversations. "Plus, it's my job. He'll get over it." I saw the doubt in her eyes but she did not say anything else.

Twenty minutes later Amanda had left and I was getting ready to go take the guys order. This was only my fourth or fifth time serving on the meeting night. Amanda usually served them because they knew her better but they knew me too. As long as they had their drinks, all was okay.

"Drinks?" I asked as I walked up to the table. Bodie, the guy I suspected was second in charge, looked at all the guys and they nodded. I knew what that meant but I still waited.

"Same as usual, Sarah." he order with a smile. I smiled back and walked away. I grabbed nine shots glasses, sat them on the counter and filled a small tub up with ice. I stuck 12 beers in the ice and carried it all over to the table. Sammy was right behind me with the bottle of whiskey. I set one-shot glass in front of each of the guys and poured them their shot while Sammy passed the beers around. When I got to Billy and tried to fill his up, he stopped me.

"What do you drink?" he asked lowly. I looked over his head at Sammy. He nodded for me to answer and I looked down.

"Um beer or liquor?" I asked. Slowly, Billy's head turned to look up at me. For a minute, I thought he was going to get pissed and start yelling at me but he didn't. He smirked instead.

"Liquor." he answered. I could see Sammy relaxing a little and I relaxed too.

"Umm usually vodka." I told him. He nodded his head and looked over at Sammy.

"Fix her a shot. It's on me." Sammy rushed off to the bar and fixed my shot while I gaped at Billy.

"I shouldn't drink tonight." I said as Sammy came back. "I drove." Billy smirked again and pushed the shot over to me.

"It's just one shot," he reasoned. I knew I should not drink it but I didn't want to refuse it. Since I began working here almost 9 months ago, Billy has said a handful of words to me. Once he told me to not date random guys from Boston because they were dangerous. For some ungodly reason, I ignored him. So the fact that he was not only talking to me but also ordering me a shot, which he rarely did for anyone, was so shocking that I did not want to ruin it.

I grabbed the shot of vodka from the table and held it to me lips. I could feel all eyes on me as I downed the shot. I slammed it upside down on the table and stared at Billy.

"Can I pour your shot now?" I asked with a slight smile. He removed his hand from the top of the glass and let me pour his whiskey. He did not say anything else as Sammy and I went back to the bar.

"What the fuck was that?" I whispered to my boss as we got to the far side of the bar. He shook his head slowly and let out a long breath.

"No idea." he whispered back. "Listen, why don't you clean up and I'll finish up tonight? It looks like Billy's in a good mood so it shouldn't be much." I eyed him carefully and crossed my arms.

"I kind of need the tips, Sam." I told him. He grabbed the tablet on the counter and wrote something down. He handed it to me and I smirked. "I, Sammy the bartender, agree to split my tips for the meeting night with Sarah, the other bartender." He shrugged a little and handed me a towel.

"I'll give you your half tomorrow," he promised. "Hell, with the mood Billy's in, they might tip you before you leave." he walked off and I started to wipe down the counter and behind the bar.

When I was done, I grabbed my purse and called to Sammy that I was leaving.

"Whoa, what?" Bodie asked as I made my way to the door. "You're leaving already?" he asked. I stopped at the edge of the counter and nodded.

"Yeah, Sam said he had it under control." I told him. Almost in unison, all guys stood up and reached into their pockets. They slapped money in Bodie's hand and he started to walk over. Billy stopped him and held out a single bill. I could not see what bill it was. Bodie walked over to me and held out the cash.

"Your tips." he said. I grabbed the money, careful not to drop it all, and smiled.

"Thanks guys. You didn't have to." They grunted in unison too. I chuckled and started to count the money. I froze when I saw the top bill, the one from Billy. He tipped me twenty dollars to get him one beer and one shot. Bodie saw my jaw drop and chuckled as he turned and walked away. They shouted a good night as I left the building.

"Why would he tip me that much for two things?" I wondered aloud. I made $60 dollars from them in total and I only served them once. I shook off the odd feeling and settled on being excited. I made easy money tonight. That money added to my other tips totaled up to $200 for the night. "Not bad." I muttered as I got my keys out of my purse.

"No, very bad." I jumped nearly a foot in the air. I felt an arm on my forearm and turned my body to see Jeremy standing behind me.

"Fuck, Jer, you scared the shit out of me!" I yelled. I snatched my arm away from him and held a hand to my heart. "Good God." I muttered and leaned against the car.

"What are you doing here?" he stepped in front of me. That is when I froze. My fluttering heart stilled. He was pissed and my actions made him even angrier.

"I'm working." I whispered. He grabbed my arm again and pulled me to him.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" he hissed in my ear. I looked over his shoulder to see if anyone was around. No one.

"I figured you didn't want to be woken up so I drove myself." I told him quickly. "And I worked late for Amanda tonight." I heard him growl deep in his throat and before a scream could erupt from my lips, his fist connected with my cheek. My purse and keys scattered to the ground before I did. My knees hit the gravel hard and I felt my hand split open.

"Fuck." I hissed and pulled it to my chest. I looked up at Jeremy and shook my head. "Not here, Jer. Not here, please." I begged him. An evil smirk crept up on his face as he stared down at me.

"Why? Don't want to let people see the action?" he laughed crazily and I pushed myself into a sitting position. "I think they might like it." I saw his leg move back swiftly and I fell back to the ground before it could hit me. I scrambled away from him as he cursed.

"Ah!" I screamed. My hands went to my hair where his hands were. He gripped and pulled the handful of hair and I jumped to my feet to alleviate the pressure.

"Free show! Come on down and watch! Free show!" he screamed in the dark parking lot.

"People will fucking hear you, Jer. Shut up." I warned. He laughed again and pushed me a few feet into the parking lot.

"What people?" he asked and used his grip on my hair to turn my head. I was about to yell at him and tell him that Billy and his gang were inside but when I actually looked in the parking lot, it was empty.

Where were the cars at?, I thought. Jeremy pulled back on my hair and my back slammed into his chest. He jerked me around to my car and shoved a hand into the small of my back. I let out a small squeal and tripped on my purse. Instead of steadying me, Jeremy sank a knee into the back of my knee and I fell forward. My face collided with the hood of my car and I felt the blood pour out of my nose. This time he let me go and I fell back down to the ground.

In a weak attempt to protect myself, I curled up into a ball and covered my head with my hands. I waited for another kick or another blow but it never came. Instead, I felt two tiny arms hug around me. I moved my hands away from my head and I could hear grunts coming from behind me. I turned to see what was going on but the arms would not let me move.

"Don't move." Amanda? I felt her lips on my ear and she started to rock me gently. "Just don't move. You're going to be okay now. Jeremy won't ever touch you again. He won't let him. He'll never let anyone hurt again."

* * *

I must have passed out because the last thing I remember was being in the parking lot but now I was in a run down room on a cold bed. I moved the sheets off my legs and sighed when I saw that I still had my work clothes on. I got out of the bed, pulled my shirt down, and fixed my shirt. I could hear a TV playing from outside the room so I walked out. The hallway was tiny and I could see two doors. A bathroom and an extra bedroom. I walked down the hall to where the TV was on and froze.

"Yo, she's up." Bodie pointed to me from the worn recliner. I wondered who he was talking to and had my answer a second later.

"I see that." I looked to my left and saw Billy standing at the entrance to a small kitchen. He had two beers in his hand. He held one out for me. "Beer?" I gaped at him in shock but took the beer anyways. Without looking away from me, he yelled to Bodie. "Leave." Bodie didn't bother in saying goodbye as he left and shut the door behind me.

"I need to go home." I whispered. I was not trying to keep it a secret but at that moment, I could barely find my voice.

"No." was all Billy said. He reached out and twisted the top off my beer. I didn't drink it though and after a minute, he took it from me and set it on the counter. "Why are you nervous?" he asked. I blinked twice and furrowed my brows.

"What?" I asked. He looked annoyed now.

"You're nervous. Why?" he asked again as he moved further into the kitchen. I followed him and leaned against the counter. I had a lot of reason to be nervous but I doubt he would want me to rant and rave about them.

"Give me a reason why I shouldn't be nervous." I said. Billy turned to me and smirked. I grabbed my beer that he set on the counter and took a long sip.

"When you first started working at the bar you didn't drink. What happened?" he asked. I set the bottle back down and frowned at him.

"How did you know I didn't drink?" I retorted. The smile that crossed his face made me weak in the knees.

"Oh, I know a lot more about you than you think." he informed me. I raised a brow and crossed my arms over my chest. "You never answered me," he reminded me.

"It's what happens when you work at a bar and have a reject boyfriend." I answered softly. I saw his face harden and a second later Billy Darley had me pinned against the wall of his kitchen, his face an inch from mine.

"Don't ruin yourself for a man," he growled. "Especially him." I nodded my head quickly in agreement. Hell, I would have agreed to let him push me off a bridge if it would make him get in my again.

Whoa. Wait, did I really just think that?

"Breath." he grunted. I let out the breath I was not aware I had been holding and he smirked at me. "Do I make you nervous?" he asked.

Stupid question. Of course, you make me nervous. You are dangerously sexy and in my face at the moment.

My eyes widened when his face moved closer to mine. Dear Lord, if he got any close we mi-

Firm but soft was the only way I could describe his lips. Firm but soft. It took me a second to realize what was happening. He was kissing me. His lips on mine. Why wasn't I kissing him back?

"Kiss me." he grunted through the kisses he placed on my lips. I opened my mouth to protest, say something or just gasp at what he said but my words never got out. A hot tongue shot through my parted lips and I was on fire in an instant. My body melted into his as I wrapped myself around him. The kiss was hot. It was frantic and it was oh so good. His hands tugged at my shirt and my body while mine hurried to find something to hold on to.

In the end, my hands buried themselves in his shirt and his wrapped under my butt as he carried me back to the room I woke up in. His body was hard against mine, exactly what I thought it would feel like. Soon enough his lips pressed harder to mine and I let a moan slip from between my swollen lips.

I frowned when he pulled back from me. My eyes opened and I gasped. The man was beautiful. Billy had pilled his shirt off and now sat on his knees in between my legs. His broad chest gleamed even in the dark. The black tattoos that I had always admired from afar were on display and swirled around his shoulders and neck. I could even see the tips of more swirls on his sides and in his hips.

Hips...um dear God, if his pants were any lower. The teasing patch of blond curls peeked out from his jeans and made me want to trace the trail further. Instead, they disappeared so I followed the trail back up. What could only be described as abs of steel greeted me when I passed his naval. I knew I was ogling him but I did not care.

Billy Darley was all man. He was one fine man.

When I finally removed my eyes from his body, I looked back up at him. He was staring right back at me, waiting.

"Well?" he prompted. I swallowed hard when he tugged on the ends of my jeans. Oh, now I know why he was waiting. He wanted me to get naked. Umm...

"I don't know if this is a good idea." I blurted out before I could stop myself. That was meant to be a mentally spoken thought only but my mouth was being a bitch. I saw his face drop and his hands clenched into fists. A quick flashback of Jeremy made me scoot back until I hit the wall. Instantly, Billy's face softened and his fingers fell loose.

"No, don't do that." he told me softly. "Don't even fear me." He moved off the bed and walked to the door. "I'll be out here if you want to come out. If not, go to sleep. You'll be safe here."

* * *

_**Present**_

I woke up someone shaking my arm. I opened my eyes quickly and saw Billy standing over me. He was already in his boxers and had a cigarette in his mouth. I could tell even with the cigarette in his mouth that he was not happy.

"What's wrong?" I asked, my voice still think with sleep. I moved over so he could lie next to me.

"You were thrashing," he said as he sat down on the bed next to me. He set the cigarette in the ashtray and pulled me into his arms. I felt the cage around me then. The safeness that came with him holding me.

I had been dreaming again.

"Sorry." I mumbled and buried my face into his neck. I moved so I was straddling his lap and let him hold me. "I was dreaming again." I felt and heard him snort.

"Dreams are things you want to come true, Sarah. The things you see on nights like this aren't going to come true." he corrected me and laid his chin on my head. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." I breathed. He tightened his arms around me and I looked up at him. "Thank you." I knew there were tears in my eyes now. His face broke in the saddest look and he reached up to stroke my cheek.

"I've told you this a million times," he whispered. "You never need to thank me. I was not going to sit around and let him beat you, Sarah. I did what I had to do. You staying with me when you could have left is thanks enough." he grabbed my chin between his fingers and pulled my mouth to kiss. The kiss was simple but it was everything. I remember when Billy hated to kiss like this. To him a kiss was heated and sexual but now he knew there was more than just lips and tongues. There was passion without the sloppy kissing.

"I was thinking about my first night at your place." I confessed as we pulled apart. He smirked and dropped his hand from my face.

"You mean the night you got me all worked up and left me hanging," he teased. I pinched his nipple and he frowned. "Two can play the touchy feely game," he reminded me and I covered my chest with my arms.

"Yes, that night." I nodded. "But aren't you glad we stopped that night? If we would have sealed the deal that night, the night we did have sex for the first time might not have happened." I wiggled my eyebrows at the memory. Billy closed his eyes with a sexual groan and ground his hips into mine.

"My God, I loved that night," he growled. "We need a repeat soon" He leaned forward and nipped at my neck. I laughed and pushed his away.

"We do not need a repeat. We almost got arrested that night." I reminded him. The grin on his face told me that he did not really care. I leaned down and kissed him again.

He did not care that we almost were arrested and that is why I loved him.

* * *

_And god only knows all the places I've been  
But I love this life that I'm living in  
I wont look back to regret yesterday  
Were not handed tomorrow so I'll live for today_

-Live For Today by Hinder


	5. Chapter 4 : Spilled Drinks & Sore Ribs

_**Present – January 5th 2009**_

A girl likes it when people bow down to her. She likes it when they are nice to her. She likes it when they let her get away with anything. Sadly, that does not happen often. Therefore, you can understand my suspicions when it seemed the whole bar seemed to treat me in a total different manner. It was as if my whole world flipped upside down after that night. I moved out of the hotel and in with Billy and his younger brother Joe. The people at the bar treated me like I was a close friend. The people in Billy's posses acted like I was their savior. In addition, Sammy treated me like I was...well, he did not treat me like crap anymore. He also did not charge me for my drinks.

That discount came in handy not too long after I moved in with Billy. I had had a really bad day with my new roomie and, to my own surprise, I was tired of being treated like I was the Queen when I did nothing special.

Therefore, when that bad day turned into a bad night, I went off. And no one was safe from my wrath.

* * *

**December 31st 2006**

I was livid. I could feel my heart racing. My blood was pulsing. I probably even had steam coming out of my ears when I stormed in the Four Roses. Oh, Billy Darley was a cruel and crude man. He was an arrogant asshole that needed to be tied down to the tracks of a railroad crossing and left there for the next train. Hopefully, it would be the slow train and it would slowly kill him while I sipped champagne on the hood of his pretty little Mustang parked on the sidelines. By the way, in this little scenario, I had already scratched up his pretty paint job and pulled a Carrie Underwood on his seats by carving my name into the leather while he watched helplessly.

"That's brutal." Amanda gasped. She threw the rag she was holding down and ran around the bar. "What the hell happened?" I pursed my lips and narrowed my eyes at her when she tried to hug me. She got the message loud and clear.

"Did I say that out loud?" I asked. My voice was straining; even I could hear that. Amanda bit her lip and raised an eyes brow.

"You mean the part where he was an arrogant asshole that needed to be run over by a slow train? Or the part where you pulled a Carrie on his seats?" I let out a shrill squeal and everyone's heads turned to me. Their faces had looks ranging from slight fear to complete confusion.

"What?" I growled at all of them and in a second, they looked away. I felt an arm on my shoulder and turned my glare on Amanda. "Yes?"

She squeezed my shoulder and gave me a weak smile. "Chill." I let her lead me over to a chair and sat down. "Now what is going on?" I clenched my hands into fists and pressed them into the table. I was afraid I would try to hit something if I moved them.

"He's an arrogant asshole." I glared over the table at my friend. "He's just an asshole. I don't need to say anything else. He's just an asshole." She nodded her head once. I wanted to leave it at that but my mouth felt differently. As soon as Amanda opened her mouth, most likely to try to get me to explain further, I went off again.

"He's a pig. I see dirty boxers everywhere. I tell him to pick them up; he cusses me out! He eats out all the time. There is no food in that shitty little apartment." I leaned over the table and Amanda moved back. "I pulled a gallon of milk out the fridge and I could smell the rot before I opened the lid. I tried to pour it out and you know what happened?"

"Um no?" I smirked at her and knocked my fist on the wood.

"The milk was solid." I banged my fist on the table. "Solid, Amanda. Solid. Milk is not supposed to be solid. Even when it lumps, it is not fully solid. It would not come out. He comes home in the middle of the night and lounges on the couch while fuzzy things grow in his fridge and under his couch. His bed sheets smell like ass. His bathroom is on board for the while Go Green thing but in the wrong way." I held up a finger and narrowed my eyes on Amanda. "Have you ever seen a green faucet? Not painted but naturally green?" She shook her head and I smirked. "I tried to clean it but it's stained with mold!"

When I paused to take a breath, Amanda held up her hands. "So he's not a housekeeper. No one ever said he was." she shrugged her shoulders casually. I glared at her and she held her hands up in defense. "I'm just trying to make you feel better." I scoffed at her and sat back in the chair.

"How in the world is that supposed to make me feel better?" I inquired. "You didn't tell me anything to make me feel better. Actually," I sat back up in my chair and set my elbows on the table. "You defended him by telling me that I should have known he wasn't a housekeeper."

"I never-"

I cut her lame excuse off. "You didn't say it but it's what you meant." She frowned at me and I shook my head. "Yes, I knew his place would most likely be a pig sty but I didn't expect to be living with him. I did not expect to have to sleep in his dirty bed. I didn't expect him to be rude and obnoxious and stubborn." Amanda quirked a brow at me and I sighed. "Okay so I knew he was going to be those things but I didn't realize how annoying he would be."

"Well, what in the hell did he do?" she asked again. I let out a humorless laugh and cradled my head in my hands.

"He told me I should quit." Her blue popped wide open and her palms slapped the tabletop. "Yeah, he said that I didn't need to work. Also said that if I did want to work, I should go somewhere Jeremy won't find me." She was silent for a second and that scared me. I was praying that she was not going to say that she agreed with him.

"Well, he might be-" I jumped out of my seat and the chair fell down behind me.

"Do not agree with him!" I shouted at her. I could feel everyone staring at me again but I did not care. "If that prick wanted me, he'd have come to see me by now. He hasn't. So apparently, he's going to leave me alone." I felt someone at my side and turned to see Sammy. He looked a little worried.

"I wouldn't doubt a guy from Boston," he told me like he was trying to approach the subject carefully. "Billy might have spooked him but he might come back when we least expect it." I put my hands on my hips and glared at him.

"Did I ask for your opinion?" I sneered. This is the point when I knew that I was really pissed. Never in a million years would I have talked that way to Sammy. I knew I would get fired but I did not care. I was pissed that everyone suddenly agreed with everything Billy said.

Granted, they always agreed with him but this time it was about me, damn it!

Instead of scowling at me, yelling at me and throwing me out of the bar on my ass as I thought he would, Sammy turned around and walked away. I gaped at his retreating figure and wondered what the hell that was about. Sammy had been extremely nice the past few days. He rarely yelled at me after I got the hang of bar tending but there was the occasional accident and he would go off one me. But not lately. I would spill something and he would actually clean it up.

I looked over at Amanda, who looked like she did not even notice what just happened. "Is he okay?" She gave me a confused look and I sighed. "He's been really nice to me." Her mouth made an O shape before she smile faintly.

"He's just excited about the new year."

For some reason I did not believe her assessment of Sammy's new demeanor but I also did not press her for more information. I had a very strong feeling that if I did press her, I would just get more odd answers and get more aggravated. Therefore, I let Sammy's new mood slide. However, I did put Amanda's new evasive attitude on the back burner for now.

* * *

The night started to pass by fast. It was a blur of beer and dirty customers for the first two hours. For a little while, my bad mood lifted and I was a happy camper. I should have knocked on wood when I had that thought because about two and a half hours after my shift started, my bad mood returned and it just went downhill from there.

"Fuck!" A big burly man shouted the word just as I thought it. The bar had gotten a little busy and I had two tables waiting for their drinks. I was running behind because I spilled a shot of whiskey on my skirt and went to the restroom to try to clean it up. Well, in my rush to get to my first table, I did not see the man stand up. I also did not see his elbow stick out as I walked by. The tray hit his elbow and the whole tray of drinks I was holding fell on him, on me and on the floor.

"I am so sorry!" I shouted over the music as I scrambled to grab a rag from my back pocket. I wiped myself down quick and stood up in front of the man. He was trying in vain to wipe the liquid off his shirt. "I didn't see you. It's-"

The moment his hands froze was the moment he took a step back from me. I looked up from the rag and his shirt. The man's eyes were wide and he kept walking back from me.

"No, it's fine." he mumbled. My jaw dropped as I stared at him while he turned away from me and walked away. My gaze turned on Sammy, who was watching from behind the bar. I expected to see him glaring at me but he was not even looking at me. His head turned down like he did not see what happened but it was at an angle that told me he was aware of what happened.

"I'll get the next table for you." I saw Amanda's hand reach around me to grab my now empty tray but I shooed it away. I turned to look at her and told her that I had it. I walked back to the bar and fixed the drinks again.

"Hey, let me get that for you." I saw Sammy come up to my left and I rolled my eyes. "No really. I think you have a shirt in the back. Go change." He took the tray from my hands and walked off.

I didn't quite understand why Sammy was being nice earlier that night but I didn't think about too much. I did have an extra shirt in the back so I changed into that and jumped back out front. The rush was slowing down and so was my attitude once again. I tried to see how Sammy was acting to Amanda but he kept himself busy at the other end of the bar talking to some old guy. It looked like Sammy's brother actually.

"Hey, Sarah!" I looked in the direction that I heard the voice and rolled my eyes.

"Hey, Joe." The scrawny and younger Darley skipped up to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. Joe was not a bad person in my eyes but he was the annoying little brother. He thought he was the shit because Billy was so popular. He also thought he was the most charming guy a girl would ever meet but he was not. His confidence came after three or four shots and left when the girl realized how un-Billy-like he was. They might share the same genes but Billy and Joe Darley were two completely different men.

"Billy tells me that you left in a foul mood earlier," his hand squeezed my shoulder and I turned my head to glare at him. "I moved my schedule around to make room for a trip up here to see you." I shrugged him arm off and walked off.

"And why would you do that?" I asked, knowing that he was following me.

"Well, I thought I'd cheer you up." he said with a wide smile. I grabbed a tray from under the bar and set it on the counter. Though I had only been around Joe a few times since my move in with Billy, he seemed to think that we were old pals.

"Joe, we've known each other, what three days?" I asked. His brows furrowed like he was deep in thought.

"Something like that." he agreed. I smiled at him and grabbed three shot glasses from the sink.

"So how would you know how to make me feel better?" I asked. I turned around to grab a bottle of whiskey and I caught the look on his face in the mirror that was behind the bottles. I wanted to laugh at the sad expression on his baby face but I did not want to hurt his feelings.

"Well, I thought maybe we could talk." he told me. "Talking usually leads to people spilling secrets about themselves." he hesitated for a moment and ran a hand through his hair. This was an action I was used to seeing Billy do, except he did not have hair. "Right?"

"Yes, Joe when people talk they usually talk about themselves." I chuckled as I filled the glasses up. He acted so tough but he was actually so...not tough. "And as much as I'd love to talk to you about myself and hear you talk about yourself," I picked the tray up and gave him a bright smile. "I'm working so I can't really do that right now. Rain check?" I didn't wait for an answer. Instead, I walked away from him and walked out from behind the bar. I started to walk past the first pool table when Joe caught up with me.

"Hey, what's a rain check?" his voice was a little louder because there were a few people between us. I stopped in mid-stride and turned around. I was about to tell him to go look it up but the breath was pushed out of me when the tray jammed me in my ribs. Apparently, Joe was not as far away as I thought. He just wanted to yell and when I stopped suddenly and turned around, he was right there to hit the tray. Drinks once again spilled all over my shirt but I was more worried about getting me breath back and getting the intense pain in my ribs to go away.

"Fuck." I gasped and dropped the tray. My hands went to my ribs and I bent over to catch my breath. I heard a commotion all around me and tried to pick out voices. Amanda was yelling for everyone to move out of her way. Sammy was cursing at someone, probably me, and Joe was cursing at himself while he apologized to me.

"I'm so fucking sorry! I am such an idiot. Are you okay?" he spouted off questions as I tried to straighten up. When I did, I realized Amanda had helped me.

"Are you alright?" she asked; worry creasing her forehead. I nodded my head and looked over at Joe. He was a mess. But why?

"I really am sorry. I did not see you stop. I was looking at that girl," his voice faded as he looked to his left where a tiny blond girl was bending over in a short skirt to grab her purse. Amanda slapped his arm and he looked away. "I was distracted and didn't see you. Are you alright? Bruise?" his eyes went wide and both hands went to his hair. "Oh shit, don't tell-" A hand slapped over his mouth and I saw Sammy stand behind the freaked out Darley.

"I'm fine." I rasped. "Just...got the wind...knocked...outta me." Amanda rubbed my back and started to pull me towards the back.

"Let's go look at your ribs. You two crashed pretty hard." I pulled my arm from her grasp and looked at Joe.

"Who don't...you want me to...tell?" I asked. Amanda was fidgeting at my side and Sammy moved his hand from Joe's mouth. "What's...going on? All of you...are acting...odd to me."

"No, we're just," Amanda trailed off and shot Sammy a look. It was a look that yelled HELP ME!

"No, you're...acting odd." I tried to move towards Joe but my ribs ached in protest. I wrapped an arm around my mid section and I heard Joe groan.

"Oh, he's going to kill me." he whined. I made my way to him and grabbed his arm.

"Joe, I can...talk now." I said. "Tell me...what's going...on or I'll...pour bleach in...your drinks."

"Sarah, please." I shook my head at Amanda's voice.

"I want to...know why everyone...is treating me..." I winced again and Joe put a hand under my elbow. So he was not like Billy. This Darley had a beating heart. "differently. Is it because...of Jeremy? Is it some kind...of protective crap?" I looked over Joe's shoulder at Sammy. He had a sad look on his face. He stepped forward and shook his head.

"It's not that. We want to be nicer to you because of your attack. We didn't know how fragile your state of mine would be but you seemed fine." he sighed and I felt Amanda behind me.

"I guess all the drama that comes with living with Billy didn't give you time to mope about Jeremy." she smirked but it faded when I glared at her. "But we wouldn't dare try to treat you like you were fragile or something. I knew you'd hate that." I smiled at her then sighed.

"Then why the sudden...change?" I asked. My rids were now at a dull ache but I couldn't breath in fully. "Who is Joe so...afraid of?" The moment the word afraid left my mouth, Joe's arms crossed, his chest puffed out and his face puckered in what was supposed to be a tough look.

"I'm not afraid of Billy," he blurted out. My mouth dropped, a hand connected to the back of Joe's head and Amanda cursed.

"Thanks Joe!" she shouted and pulled on my arm. I let her pull me to the side of the bar and I heard Sammy yell for everyone to mind their own business.

"What does he mean?" I asked, trying hard to control my breathing before it got out of control and I hurt my ribs more.

"Well," Amanda played with her fingers as she looked everywhere but me. "Ya see, Billy's a little territorial. You know that, right?" I nodded my head. The action was tense and she noticed it. "See everyone knows Billy is like taking care of you. Protecting you." She stopped talking and risked a looked at my face. It must have looked bad because she looked away.

"So let me get this straight," I said. "Everyone thinks that they have to...be nice to me because I'm staying with...Billy." Amanda nodded her head but I shook mine. "I don't get it."

"For fuck sakes!" Sammy yelled from behind us. "Billy told everyone to watch what they do around you or else." My jaw dropped again and I heard Amanda curse.

"He threatened everyone...to be nice to me?" I asked astonished. "Does he like think...that I am his...property?" No one said anything and at that moment, my ribs were the last thing on my list to worry about. I looked over at Sammy and smiled as sweetly as I could.

"Being that you have...to be nice to me," I whispered menacingly. "I'll be taking the...rest of the night...off, Sammy."

* * *

_**Present- January 5th, 2009**_

"My ribs were killing me that night, Joey!" I yelled at him. It would have been scary if I were not laughing my ass off. Joe chuckled and took a long sip of his beer.

"I said I was sorry. You're the one that ran off and attacked Billy later that night." I heard a grunt from behind me and turned my head to see Billy walking over to me.

"She was damn scary too. Ran in the house, partially limping from her hurt ribs, glaring at me." he barked out a laugh and I glared at him. "Oh, if looks could kill, she'd be a legend for taking me out that night. She was pissed."

"Of course I was!" I said as I stood up from the recliner. Billy plopped down in my spot and pulled me into his lap when he was comfortable. "You threatened people to be nice to me. Sammy being nice is scary Billy." They guys laughed at me and I rolled my eyes while I flipped through the TV channels. "You had no right to do that. We weren't dating or anything." I heard Joe make a choking sound and I looked away from the screen. Joe was holding a hand over his mouth, trying not to laugh. I turned in Billy's lap and saw him grinning.

"What?" I asked dumbfounded.

"We started dating that day," he said as a matter of fact. I narrowed my eyes at him and turned around in his lap so I was fully facing him.

"We started fucking that night." I reminded him. "That day and afternoon, and the days before that, we were not dating. So you had no right to do what you did." I watched him take a slow sip of his beer. His bright eyes never leaving mine as he tilted the bottle and brought it back down.

"Semantics." he said when he swallowed. I clutched my chest and gasped aloud.

"Oh my God, he used a big word!" Joe laughed behind me but Billy did not think it was funny. "It is not semantics, Darley. We were not dating so you had no right to make people be nice to me. You had no right to treat me like I was yours when I certainly was not."

"You lived in my house and slept in my bed." he sounded like he was pleading his case but my court was not having it.

"You forced me to live with you and you didn't have another bed to sleep in." I pointed out by tipping my beer at him. "I highly doubt that you would sleep on the couch and, with as many guys that you have running through the living room, I doubt that you would let me sleep on it. So you're ratty little bed was the only place."

"But you didn't complain." Joe piped up. I turned to frown at him.

"Bull shit. Amanda was on the verge of asking Billy to let me stay with her." I confessed. Then I squealed when Billy pinched my side. I turned back to him and frowned. "Well, it's true. You were horrible to live with at first."

"Like you weren't?" he retorted. I gasped and smacked his arm while he chuckled. "I've never lived with a woman and I get you as my first live in female. You with you're OCD and PMS every month." I heard Joe make a gagging noise and I rolled my eyes.

"Being clean is not OCD, Billy, and PMS comes with being a woman. You should have known that." I took a sip of my beer and smirked at Billy. "Anyways, back to the original subject." He sighed and I laughed at him. "You did a good job distracting me for a second there, I'll give you that much."

"I don't think he was wrong." I looked over my shoulder at Joe and raised a brow. "I mean, he wasn't trying to be a dick or anything. He was just being protective. That's all." I saw Billy give him the thumbs up and Joe grinned.

"I don't care what his motives were. He should not have gone behind my back like that. I barely knew him and he was scaring people into being nice to me."

"I was not scaring people into being nice to you." Billy defended himself as I shook my head. I pointed my finger at him and waved it around.

"I bumped into this old guy and he was scared shitless when he saw that it was me. Don't lie." I smirked when he rolled his eyes at me and took a sip of his beer.

"I only told people to be careful what they say to you. I didn't want any jerk off's trying to get with you." he paused for a second and looked down to where our hips met. He hooked a finger in my belt loop and smirked. "Or get in you." I rolled my eyes this time and smacked his finger away.

"I don't care what you said or didn't say. People were scared of you." I pushed the tip of his nose with my finger and before I could pull it away, he bit the tip of it. I let out a drunken squeal and Joe groaned.

"Oh God, don't get her horny." he whined and Billy laughed aloud.

"Why? I like it when she's horny." he grinned and looked up at me. I tried to get him to bite my finger again but he kept his lips pressed tight. "Besides, she's a little buzzed. She's playful right now."

"I don't like her when she's playful either." Joe griped. "She likes to treat me like I'm 12." I turned around in Billy's lap and grinned at Joe. I did not realize how tipsy I really was until Billy said something.

"Aww I don't treat you like a kid, Joey." I pouted and batted my eyelashes at him while I slowly crawled off Billy's lap. Joe narrowed his eyes at me and started to set his beer down. Before he could set it on the table and run, like I knew he would, I leaped onto the couch and grabbed him around the neck.

"Billy, get her!" he shouted through his laughter. I pulled him back on the couch and showered his faces with wet kisses, missing his lips on purpose. Billy sat back and laughed while I attacked his little brother.

"But I love you, Joey! You are the cutest little thing in the whole wide world!" I giggled and kissed his face more. "I just want to hug you and kiss you and cuddle you and squeeze you all day long!"

"Get her off me, Billy!"

* * *

_And it's OK to be a little risky (oh, ah the good times)  
Forget work it's all play at the end of the day (oh, ah the good times)  
Just be sure to send the females my way (oh, ah the good times)  
Oh look at how cute, we made a mess on the dance floor  
So let me get a soul clap, that's what we got hands for_

-It's Ok, But Just This Once by Gym Class Heroes

* * *

**Okay for those of you who don't know. I post all my stories on another site as well. It's a Garrett Hedlund fansite. It has a forum and a FF site. I'm a moderator on the forum. What I am starting to do is write a chapter a head from now on. I won't post a chapter until the one after it is done. I used to do it but stopped. Well, now I'm doing it agan. I am also posting a teaser snippet of the chapter that is in waiting. For those who want to read the teaser you will have to join the forum and post. You will be boosted if you don't post after a certain time. It's nothing but Garrett Hedlund fans and there are a lot of other writers there too. A teaser for chapter 5 is already posted so if you want to read it or join the forum message me and I'll send you the link. I hope to hear from a few of you. :) **

**Also, chapter 5 is done. I am also doing this for the rest of my stories. _Forgive & Forget_ is next so it might take me a day or two to update because I have to write out two chapters. But once I get the extra chapter done, I'll be bsck to updating normally.**


	6. Chapter 5 : Heaven Sent

****

December 31st, 2006

"Heco, shut the fuck up and listen." I glared at him from my spot on the couch and he huffed his ass off on the couch. "I don't care if you know them or not. You don't tell someone that you can get him or her a leg up in the streets. I don't care how much they offer you or me, they do not get enough stuff so they can sell it. I sell shit around here not some greasy faced teenager looking to be tough."

"He just needs a little extra money, Billy." he whined. I held my hand up and he shut up.

"I don't care. Tell him to go to Burger King for a part time." I said. "I ain't helping him take some of my customers. End of story." Heco rolled his head from side to side and I leaned back in my seat. He knew he had lost.

"Now get out of my face." I waved him away and he stomped out of the apartment. I didn't bother locking it as I walked from the living room. People knew better than to break into my place. Even if I was buck naked, I still had a gun somewhere. I walked through my bedroom and walked into the bathroom. The first thing I saw when I walked in was the tell tale sign of a woman. A pink scrubby thing was hanging from my shower faucet. Four different bottles of hair shampoo and conditioner were lying in the corner of the shower and a brought purple bottle of body wash sat next to them. I never did understand why woman needed so much beauty products. I looked over my shoulder and cringed when I saw the pink and brown polka dot make up bag and another four bottles of face wash, body lotion and hair serum.

"God, this is a mess." I mumbled as I stripped my clothes off. I didn't like Sarah's girly shit all over my apartment but I brought it on myself. I didn't have to make her stay with me but I am. She could have gone somewhere else to live but I wasn't excited about that.

The plan was to keep my distance, which I did. I watched from afar, got a feel for who she was and how she acted. I didn't talk to her or get involved with her in any sense. Well, I did break my silence to tell her not to go out with that asshole Jeremy but no, she ignored me. Then I broke my 'watch from afar' rule when I noticed her changing. From my time watching her at the bar, I noticed she was a perky girl. Even when she was down, she was a bright and bubbly person. Annoying, really. She was naïve too though and that wasn't good for living in Boston.

That changed a few days ago though. She seemed a little down. Her smile wasn't reaching her eyes, she barely laughed and she acted as if she had no energy. I might have found her a tad bit annoying but I didn't like the newly changed Sarah. I even broke my silence once more one December night. I thought I could maybe intimidate her but she stood right up to.

I found out what was going on later that night though. The asshole I told her to forget was beating on her. Unfortunately, for him, I found out with my own two eyes. I knew something was up when she left the bar by herself. I just had this feeling. I put the meeting on hold, called Bodie and Sammy to follow me and walked outside. The sight I saw instantly brought a red haze over me. Jeremy was wailing on Sarah like she was a rag doll. I took of running across the parking lot when a pained scream came from Sarah's mouth. As I was running, I saw a blur of blond hair. Amanda reached Sarah right after I did and she pulled her into a tight hug when I yanked Jeremy away. I drug him a few feet away from the girls and Bodie and Sammy held him down while I gave him a taste of his own medicine.

"Fuck." I looked down at my hand and realized I had picked up my razor and was squeezing it. I threw it in the sink and reached over to turn the shower on. I stepped inside and let the water wash away the memories of that night. Sarah was safe now. She was fine now and she didn't sport any bruises. If I had it my way, she never would again.

I grabbed my bottle of body wash and poured some in my hand. I stared at Sarah's shampoo while I worked the soap into a creamy lather on my body. I felt like a weirdo for wondering if that's what made her hair smell like peaches or if it was some kind of perfume.

"Fucking peaches." I grumbled as I washed off the soap. That's all I smelt during the day. Peaches. It was on my pillows, on my sheets and on the couch where she sat. Peaches. I rinsed the last of the suds off, snatched her shampoo bottle up and popped the top open. Peaches. I closed the lid and pushed the shower door open. I grabbed a towel from the rack and wrapped it around my hips.

I knew that Sarah wouldn't be home for another hour or two and Joe was at the bar, so I decided to leave the clothes and go ahead and get me a beer. With Joe and Sarah now, I rarely got time to myself. I rarely got a moment alone so I was going to enjoy it. Just as I fixed my towel so I could sit down without having my stuff hang out, my door flew open. I jumped off the couch and grabbed the gun that was in between the cushions.

"Fuck!" I cursed and hurried to put it away when I saw Sarah standing at the door. Her hair was messed up like she had been running and her face a deep red color. "What the fuck are you doing home so early?" I demanded. Sarah's mouth did a great imitation of a fish and I thought, for a split second, that she was scared of me. Then I saw her eyes rake down my chest and down to my towel. The red deepened in her face and she quickly looked away.

"Cat got your tongue, Sarah?" I teased and took a step forward. She backed up a step and ran into in the door that she forgot to close. I jumped forward to catch her before she fell and hit her head. I realized that was a bad mistake on my part because now I had her pressed up against my half-naked body. I caught a big whiff peaches and I moved my hips so she wouldn't feel the effect she had on me. I helped her stand up again and turned around before she could see my happy towel.

I took deep breaths and thought ugly images to try to get my erection to go away.

"I'm mad at you." Sarah's voice was hoarse, most likely from embarrassment. I glance down at myself and turned around when I saw that my towel was flat now.

"What did I do?" I asked. Her eyes scanned my body again and I smirked. "Like what you see, Sarah?" Her cheeks redden again and I felt myself start to go hard again.

"Put uh, put some clothes on," she croaked. I looked down at myself casually and raised my hands.

"Why? Does my being half naked bother you?" I teased and took a step towards her again. This time she didn't back up. She just tensed. Her eyes were looking everywhere else but me. I knew I shouldn't have done what I did but I wanted her to look at me. With a single tug at my towel, it fell to the ground below me and I stood proudly in front of her. Her jaw dropped instantly but she didn't try to look away.

"Still distracted?" I asked huskily. Those blue eyes looked up from my groin and met my eyes. Then before I could utter another smart-ass comment, she took off out the apartment. I started to run after her but realized that 1.) I was naked and 2.) she left my door wide open. I slammed the door shut and ran back to the bathroom. I threw on my jeans and ran back out to the living room. I snatched my keys up and headed for my car.

When I got outside, I cursed myself for not getting boxers or a shirt. It was freezing and it was starting to snow. I looked down the street and saw Sarah power walking.

"Sarah! Get your ass back here!" I screamed as I walked to my car. I saw her head turn back to look at me but she didn't falter in her stride. She kept on walking. I jumped into the car and peeled out of the parking lot. I turned down the street and sped towards her. I saw her looking back as I approached and I think she started walking faster.

"Stop!" I yelled for her but she ignored me. I crept along side her and looked at her from out the passenger side window. "Get in the car, Sarah. It's cold and dark.

"Fuck off." she barked. I could tell that she was cold because I heard her teeth chatter.

"Ya know, I've scared people off plenty of time but never by getting naked. Usually, girls run to me not run away." I don't know why I was trying to joke but part of me thought it would work.

It didn't.

She turned to the car and glared at me. "Go away. Leave me alone. What don't you understand? I hate you! You've ruined everything for me," she screeched. "You force me to live with you in your shitty apartment and then you scare people into being nice to me! I was fine where I was at, you bastard!" My temper flared.

"You were getting you ass beat by that jackass, Sarah. You think that was a fine situation?" I asked. "You want to get your ass beat black and blue then go ahead, be my guest."

Her eyes went wide with anger and she turned on her heel. I thought she was going to keep walking down the street. Instead, she turned around completely and took off through the grass. I groaned when I saw a park just ahead of her. I was tempted to drive through the grass but I didn't I drove down the street and turned into the parking lot for the park. I killed the engine and scanned the dark park for Sarah. Before I got out, I reached behind me and searched for a shirt or something to wear. I found a black tank and threw it on as I stepped out of the car.

"Sarah!" I shouted into the darkness. "This is dangerous! Don't make me come find you." I looked from my left to my right as I walked through the swing set. "It's late. Let's go home and you can yell at me there. I promise I'll keep my clothes on." I passed the slide and saw a shadow move around the bathrooms.

"Come on, I'll behave." I yelled again. I saw her head peek out and I bolted towards her. She let out a tiny scream and ran around the building to the bathroom doors. "Quit running!" I growled as I caught up with her. My arm hooked around her waist just as her hand grabbed the door to the woman's room.

"Let me go you brute!" she squealed as I pushed her inside the bathroom. I let her go and blocked the door, a smirk on my face. She ran at me and tried to push past me but instead of getting past me or making me fall, she fell backwards.

"I'm a lot bigger than you, doll." I drawled and held out my hand to help her up. She sneered at it and I figured I could get used to this feisty Sarah. She was kind of hot.

"You told everyone to be nice. They said you threatened them," she screamed at me. I was caught off guard for a minute. What in the hell what she talking about? "Sammy has been nice to me. Joe apologized for me bumping into him and an old man nearly died when he saw it was me who ran into him."

"Oh, that." I mumbled. I knelt down beside her and looked her in the eye. "I didn't threaten them to be nice to you. I told them that they shouldn't fuck with you. I'm looking after you now and I don't want to have to go beat anyone down. So I forewarned them."

She shook her head forcefully and I saw tears build up in her eyes. "I don't want you taking care of me. I can't stand you."

"Well, I don't care." I told her honestly. "I tried to let you live your life by yourself but you went and got beat up by that jackass. You need help." Her face shifted into a confused look and I stood back up.

"Why do you bother?" she whispered and held her hand out. I took it and pulled her to her feet.

"Because I know how girls like you end up in this city." I told her. "It ain't pretty." She looked away from me and backed away.

"If I'm going to say with you," she said softly. "There has to be some rules." I raised a brow and walked forward. The feisty Sarah was gone and the shy one was back.

"Rules?" I said thoughtfully. "I don't like rules. But if you wanna try some out, you can." She looked up at me again and I saw a little anger there.

"You basically just said you were going to break them, why would I waste my breath to tell you what they are if you won't listen?" she demanded. I too another step forward and she backed up. Two more steps back and she'd be against the wall.

I smirked and took another step. "Well, if any of rules have to do with me taking you to bed or you walking around naked all day, I'll gladly listen to them and enforce them." A blush raged on her cheeks and I took another long step towards her. She gasped when her back hit the wall and I smirked again.

"Stop." she whimpered as my head bowed down to her level. I ran my nose along her jaw and up to her ear.

"Why?" I breathed. I grabbed her waist and yanked her against me. Her hands gripped my arms and I moved my lips over hers.

The first touch sent shocks through me. I pulled away an inch and looked down at her. She stared wide eyed up at me and when I felt her fingers tug down on my arm I bent back down and kissed her again. This time she kissed me back and the feeling was amplified. Her lips were soft and full. She tasted of cinnamon gum and a sweetness that could only be her own. Our lips moved slowly at first, as if we were trying to savor the feel of the unexpected moment. Then they moved faster, harder. Her nails dug into my arm and I pressed her against the wall. Her body met mine in every way possible and I loved it. I knew it was probably a bad idea but I wanted more. I needed more.

I moved my lips from her, earning a huff of annoyance, and trailed kisses down her cheek and to her neck. "I want you." I whispered into her skin. I almost expected her to swat my hand away when I ventured down her side and up under her shirt but she didn't. She moaned when I pushed her bra out the way and cupped her breast in my hand.

"So wrong," she panted against my neck. "So good." A growl erupted from my lips at her words. I pressed harder against her and took my hand out from her shirt as I pulled away from her. A pout was on her lips when I looked at her but it faded when my hands went for her pants.

"Police." We both froze at the sound of the man's voice. Sarah slapped my hands away and fixed herself. She had just fixed her bra when an older cop burst into the bathroom. "What's going on here?" he demanded as he shined his light in my face. I groaned and covered my eyes with my arm. "Huh? Speak, what's going on?" I saw him reach for his handcuffs and knew we were about to be arrested for public indecency.

"Oh no!" Sarah groaned. I turned to see her run into the nearest stall and kneel over the toilet. She started making gagging noises and the cop went to look in on her.

"Miss?" he asked carefully. She held up a hand and kept gagging. The cop looked over at me and frowned. "Sir?" I looked at Sarah and wished she would stop and talk to him but apparently, she was doing her part to keep us from being thrown in jail.

"She got sick in the car. I stopped so she could come in here to clean up but she kept going." I told him weakly. I hated cops. I also hated being nice to them. If I had it my way, I would have hit him and we would have ran.

"Oh, okay." the cop look hesitant to leave and he poked his head back into the stall. "You going to be okay, miss?" he asked.

"Yeah." Sarah croaked without lifting her head up. The cop nodded and put his light away.

"Well, let her finish and take her home." he walked out and I smirked when I heard Sarah giggling. She was sitting on the toilet lid when I looked in the stall.

"That was close," she giggled harder and I shook my head.

"I could have hit him, ya know? We didn't need your theatrics." I informed her while she stood up and dusted herself off. She paused in her dusting and looked up at me.

"Then we really would have gone to jail." she scoffed and finished cleaning off. She started to walk past me but I stopped her. She looked up at me and I nearly came undone when is aw the coy smile on her lips.

"I would have had fun hitting him." I told her. "You owe me."

* * *

_**Present – January 6th 2009**_

I slowly moved out from under the covers and slid out of the bed. I didn't want to wake Sarah up. She had her share of fun that night. She got drunk, attacked my brother's face with wet, beer filled kisses and then passed out after a long session of sex. I snatched up a clean pair of boxers from the hamper and walked into the bathroom. Now I didn't mind the girly stuff sitting on my sink counter. I didn't mind her numerous bottles of hair supplies littering my shower floor. I used to think of it as a bad reminder of a woman living here but now it was a good reminder.

I stepped into the shower and grabbed the soap.

I liked seeing her clothes and stuff everywhere. It reminded me that she was still here. I didn't want to think that we would break up, but the day I didn't see her stuff here would be the day I knew she was gone.

I'd miss her bras hanging on the door knob. I'd miss her heels laying in the middle of the floor for me to step on. I'd miss her foundation knocking over and spilling in the sink. I'd miss her puffy pink sponge hitting me in the face when I step under the showerhead and I'd miss the peaches.

Her shampoo was peach. Her perfume was peach. Her lotion was peach. She even found peach flavored gum and tea. Sarah was peaches. If the peaches left, I'd know she was gone and I'd know that life ended for me. I know that I would not be able to go on without her. Everything would remind me of her. I'd pass a fruit stand and I'd feel that aching in my chest. The ache that would have started when she left and took that part with her.

I'm not sure when I got this sentimental but I don't mind. Sarah is the only woman I have met that I won't hesitate when I tell her that I love her. I don't feel weak for loving her and I sure as hell don't feel like less of a man. My love for Sarah makes me a better man. She makes me a better man. I didn't expect her to come into my life and stay but she did. I watched her go from a simple, shy and naïve girl to a smart, street ready and loving woman. She might not have been the same girl she was three years ago but she was better. She was stronger. I'll admit I'd like to think I helped with that.

"Hey you." Sarah stepped in the shower next to me and I already could smell the peaches. She wrapped her arms around me waist and pressed her cheek to my back. "Why are you showering in the middle of the night?" she asked drowsily. I chuckled and turned around in her arms. She let her head rest on my chest and I leaned back against the wall.

"I was thinking." I told her softly, running a hand over her half wet hair. I felt her smirk against my skin and she looked up at me.

"Don't hurt yourself," she teased. I pinched her butt lightly and she jerked into me, causing her to rub against my groin and make me groan. She giggled and rubbed against me again.

"Stop that." I growled and held her still. "I'm serious here, doll." She stopped moving completely and I let her go. She looked up at me concerned.

"What's going on?" she asked and reached up to cup my cheek. "Tell me." I sighed deeply and moved her hand from my cheek. I didn't let it go though, I held it between mine.

"I want to go pick your dad up when he gets out." I told her calmly. I didn't let the fearful look that crossed her face. "I'm going to tell him about us and explain everything that happened the past three years."

"He might freak, Billy," she hissed and snatched her hand out of mine. "You've talked to him. He hates guy's names and my name in the same sentence. Hell, he flipped when I told him about Jeremy. He yelled at you for an hour for not being there every second of my life," she threw her arms in the air. "Which is dumb but he blamed you simply because you ran this part of town and he thought you'd know who I was and automatically come to my rescue!" I grabbed her shoulders firmly when she finally stopped and I held her in place.

"Calm down, doll." I said as soothingly as I could. She looked up at me and I frowned when a tear slipped down her already wet cheek.

"I don't want you to get hurt," she whimpered. "I barely know him. I don't know how dangerous he is, Billy. All I know is that he is fiercely protective of me."

"I will be fine." I assured her and hugged her to my chest. I buried my nose in her hair and kissed her head. "Your dad and I have things in common. I think it would be best to talk to him by myself. And hey," I pulled back to look at her. "For all we know, he might take it well. We might be over reacting." She rolled her eyes and sniffed softly.

"And if we aren't and he freaks out like we think he will, you might be in a ditch somewhere and then he'll go back to jail." I chuckled at her dramatics and held her face between my hands. I leaned down and kissed her softly.

"Don't you worry about me, doll. I'd never leave you without a fight." I saw a small smile play on the corner of her lips and I kissed her again. "You know I love you, right?" I whispered. Her eyes teared up again.

"I know." she nodded. "I love you too." I wrapped my arms around her neck and buried my nose in her hair again.

"Fuckin' peaches." I mumbled. She looked up at me with a smirk and I grabbed her shampoo. "Turn around. I'm washing your hair." I slapped her butt as she turned away from me.

"So do I get to wash you afterwards? I think you've been a bad boy and you're all dirty now." I chuckled as I poured soap on her hair and started running it through her strands.

"I love it when you talk dirty."

* * *

_Never saw the chemistry that was there with you and me  
It's been a long time coming_

_  
Just waiting on an angel to take me out of my hell  
I'm falling for you_

_Just dropping out of thin air  
You came out of nowhere right out of the blue  
When heaven sent you_

_Night after night, when I didn't sleep  
But that was before you lay beside me  
When all of my demons were dancing with me  
I'm glad you came down 'cause I was in too deep  
_

**-Heaven Sent by Hinder**

* * *

Sorry it took so long but I've been busy. I know a lot of peeps who read this are Garrett Fans so I wanted to take the time and mention a site that I help run in just about every corner...lol. It's also on my bio page so check it out there too.

**This is my **http : / britt-nee1432 . livejournal . com /

**It is Friends Only but you can add me and/or leave me a comment so I can add you.**

**For all my Garrett Hedlund fans go here for the most up to date news about the hottie.**

http : // community . livejournal . com / mrhedlund /

http : // www . mrhedlund . com / home . php

http : // mrhedlund . com / forum /

**I am a news poster for the main site. I'm a moderator on the forum. And I post and help co-run the LJ webpage.**

**We have the best people and best news source at Mr. Hedlund so go check it out.**

I also post this because it's a way to get in touch with me. I give out sneek peeks of future chapters in the Forum (the site also has it's own FanFic site for Garrett fics.) Plus the site is jsut really good and it's good news for anything Garrett.

My mojo is like almost gone, so leave reviews and help me get it back. ;)


	7. Chapter 6 : Patron, Tequila

**Okie, I'm gonna hide before I say what I have to say.**

_***runs and hides in very secret location***_

**I might not update my DS stories for a while. HSR and GA, are not on my ls=ist of things that make me want to write. I know I've left off at really good points in the stories but I can't help it. If I don't feel into the story, I can't write it. Well, I could but I'd fuck it up. I'd rather wait until I fell back into the story to write it than write a crappy chapter. I'm sorry if you're bummed but my mind is blank for HSR mainly. GA, I have plans for but I can't put them on paper, ya know? Kind of like a writer's block for just this story.**

**I'm going to try to work on my FB story. I haven't tried working in it as of late but I'm sure I can write on that.**

**But for now here is the last chapter I wrote for GA. It's been done for a while but I was waiting to start/write/finish chapter 7. That has yet to happen.**

**Hopefully, I'll be back soon. :)**

* * *

**December 31st, 2006**

Part of me wondered if this night was even real because the things that had happened just in the last two hours we're something that I'd see in a movie and not my life. I completely surprised myself with...well, with myself. The anger that I felt when I left the bar and headed to Billy's was one that I had never experienced. I was so livid at him and that was foreign to me.

Seeing a half naked gang lord drop his towel was also new to me. But I'd be lying if I said that I wouldn't mind a repeat. Even my attitude towards that part of the night was unreal to me. On the outside I was blushing like mad because I had never seen a man built like that. I hadn't seen a...penis that...award worthy in my life. I'd had boyfriends that were well endowed but they didn't come close to what Billy was packing. It wasn't just his manhood though. The man was built like Adonis. His torso so long and lean and ripped with muscles. Those muscles outlined with black tribal tattoos. The black tribal tattoos gleaming off of tanned and tough skin that was smooth to the touch.

See? Under normal circumstance I would not have touched him in that bathroom or be talking about him like I want to eat him alive. I certainly, wouldn't have kissed him like that either but I don't regret. No, I could never regret kissing those lips. At the beginning of the night, I wanted to beat him to death and now I wanted simply wanted to beat but in a different fashion. It was like I had another personality or something. The main one was a scared, blushing girl and the other was a nympho who got off on being chased down into a public bathroom.

However, I'm kind of excited about that new side of me and I think I had to thank Billy for that. He made me feel more confident about myself. Maybe the fact that he'd want to drop a towel in my presence meant that I was worth more than I thought. How odd is it that it would take a man to get naked to make me feel like I'm worth something?

Anyways, the point is that I felt more confident when he was around. I felt like I had something to prove too. I wasn't stupid. I knew that he thought I was helpless and even though this city was dangerous, I was not helpless. I didn't need a group of men following me everywhere or a gun in my purse just to check the mail. Billy saw me as an immature girl and not a strong woman. I wanted to change that.

"What are you thinking about?" His voice broke through my thoughts and I looked over at him. He was currently looking out of the window as he drove us back to the apartment. My other personality was taking a nap somewhere so I didn't tell him exactly what I thought, which was him naked again.

"I'm think that I want you to tell everyone not to treat me like you want them to." I say instead. "I want to be respected but I don't want them to fear me because they think you will hurt them." I heard Billy snort and he finally looked over at me.

"I don't see why you don't want them to change. Most women would love to have everyone act like they are walking on glass around them." I glared at him in the darkness. My other personality was waking up.

"Well, for your information, I'm not most women." I snapped. He chuckled like the insensitive ass he is and pulled into the parking lot of the complex.

"Yeah, I know. You run from me being naked. No woman's ever done that before." he snickered. My jaw dropped.

"You are so egotistical." I huffed and pushed my door open when he parked the car. I got out and slammed my door. "Do you really think you are God's gift to women? Because, newsflash," I waved my hands in front of him as he stalked towards me with a smirk on his face. "You're not. You're just a lowlife gang lord in a shitty part of Boston."

"Really?" he asked as we walked to the door. I nodded my head happily.

"Yep." I said popping the P. "Outside of this town, you're nothing special." Billy pushed the door open and stepped aside so I could walk in. I walked past him and not even a second after I heard the door shut, a hand grabbed my elbow and spun me around.

The lips that I was day dreaming about earlier were pressed to mine for the second time that night. My body was pressed to his hard one and once again Billy had me at his mercy because I didn't even think about protesting. My hands flew to his chest and gripped his wrinkly shirt, my lips moved with his and somehow I managed to walk backwards and let him lead me back to his room. Half way down the hall he yanked me off my feet like I was a rag doll and wrapped my legs around his waist. My lips left his when we walked into his room. His eyes were ablaze with a lusty passion and I already felt my toes tingle and my stomach tighten.

I bounced on the bed when he threw me on it. I sat up on my elbows a second later to watch as he pulled his shirt off over his head. The muscles that I mentally drooled over earlier tightened and rippled as he crawled back onto the bed. He stayed at my feet and tugged on the bottoms of my jeans. I reached down and unbuttoned them and as soon as my fingers left the last button, he tugged the jeans again and pulled them down my legs. I thought for a minute that he was going to make me pull my panties down but right when my fingers grabbed the sides, he swatted them away. I looked down at him and gulped.

He looked...hungry. He had this wild look in his eyes. The told me that he had been waiting for this for a while and he was going to take his sweet time. The thought made me moan and close my eyes.

A gasp made it's way out from between my lips when his lips kissed my ankles. I opened my eyes just a little and saw him working his way up my legs, alternating kissing one and then the other in the same spots.

My ankles. My knees. My thighs. Inside and out. The straps to my panties. My hip bones. Kisses everywhere. Soft and firm. Moist and hot. Kisses that were sensual and kisses that were not what I thought Billy was able to give. How could a man like him be this soft and giving? I thought he'd be a greedy lover. I thought he'd do what he needed to get pleasure and not worry about the woman he's with.

So far, he's proven me wrong.

"Do you know how long I've want to do this?" he asked. His voice was husky and low. It sent shivers up and down my spine so much that it made me shiver.

I tried to answer him but I couldn't. I settled for nodding my head instead.

"No?" he mumbles and kisses around the top band of my panties. "It's been a while, Sarah. I've thought long and hard," he rubbed his erection against my thigh and growled. "About what I would do to you if I ever got you in my bed." He ran his nose around my naval and nipped the skin as he moved upward. He stopped abruptly. He sat up on his knees and yanked me upright. He shed my shirt in half a second and pushed me back down onto the bed.

So there were a few rough spots on him but he was still as gentle as ever as he nuzzled the skin below my breasts. "What was Jeremy like?" My eyes popped open wide and I looked down at him. He was still nuzzling my skin like he hadn't just asked what he just asked me.

"Huh?" I was wondering if I was hearing things. Billy moved up a little and placed tender kisses around my nipples, making them hard and making me shiver.

"Was he rough? Was he gentle?" he asked, blowing his hot breath over my breast. "I think he was an awkward lover." he said and flicked his tongue against my nipple. He blew on it gently and chuckled when I squirmed underneath him.

"Why are we talking about him?" I asked breathlessly. Billy's eyes met mine and I nearly melted.

"Because I have a feeling that you've gone far too long without being satisfied." he tells me, while one of his hands moves down my sternum and over my belly. "I have a feeling that Jeremy beats woman to prove that he's manly because he knows he's crap in bed."

I tried to grasp the words that were floating around in my head but his hand was so distracting. I kept thinking of how it would feel to have his hand inch down another inch. Then his hand would inch down another inch and I wished it to go down another. Soon enough I knew he'd get to where I wanted it the most and that thought alone blew my mind. So words were not becoming to me at the moment.

"Am I right?" His breath tickled my tummy as his hand slowed. "Was he a lousy lover?" I whined in protest when his hand stopped. He looked up at me and flashed me a wicked grin. "Answer me."

"Yes, yes. He was horrible in bed." I squirmed as his hand moved again. Lower. Lower. Still lower. "God, stop teasing me." I gasped when his fingered the band of my panties. He was nipping at my breast when I spoke and his chuckled vibrated through my skin.

"I'm not God, doll. But you're close." he whispered into my chest. "I'm Billy Darley." His hand moved quickly. Under the thin fabric and down the front.

The moment his rough fingers touched me, I gasped. He chuckled and teased to me until I was covered in a thin layer of sweating, begging him to give me release. Finally, he found home and stroked me inside and out. My breath quickened with each deep thrust of his fingers, my body shook with pleasure and my mouth let out the tell tale sounds of a woman receiving the best night of her life.

"Oh, fuck." I moaned. My head thrashed back and forth as my body started to tense. "Billy, oh God. I'm gonna...gon-" With a shout of pure pleasure, my toes curled and I experience the best orgasm know to humankind. I was in sheer ecstasy but Billy didn't stop.

His free hand unfastened his jeans and shoved them down over his hips. I barely registered the fact that he wasn't wearing any kind of underwear. He was in that much of a hurry after I had run out.

Suddenly, the voices of a dozen or so people filled the almost silent room. They were counting down.

10...9...8...

"Looks like we're brining the New Year in together." Billy mumbled while he positioned himself between my weak legs. I could see his erection in his hands and almost moaned at the thought of him being inside me. He was very well endowed, something I didn't get to notice earlier when he flashed me.

5...4...3...

"Ready, Sarah?" he whispered, looking down at me.

At first I thought he was asking about our current situation and our about-to-be sex but when I looked up into his eyes, I saw something different. He wasn't asking me if I was ready for the sex. No, this was something more. After tonight, my life would never be the same. I knew that. He knew that. And he was considerate enough to ask me before he sealed the deal. Before we sealed the deal.

I felt him nudge me between my legs and my eyes closed.

"Yes." I whispered.

Yes, I want you. Yes, I want this. Yes, I need this. Yes, I'm ready. I'm ready for anything and everything because with him, I was stronger. With him, I was a different me. With him, I'd be protected.

The pain I felt at first was not the pain of loosing my virginity. I'd lost that long ago. The pain was coming from the fact that Billy was _very_ big. When I winced, he stopped.

"Okay?" he whispered in my ear. I took a few deep breaths and wiggled my hips, brining him further in. "Stop it."

"I'm fine." I assured him and pressed my hips down. I must have made him mad because the second after that he plunged in deep. A sound that was a mix of pleasure and pain came from my mouth. I snapped it shut and glared up at him.

That bastard was smirking. Did I expect him to be gentle the whole time? No, and if I did I'd call myself and idiot. I blamed myself for his quick switch in attitudes. He offered to slow down but I had to be all impatient.

"Asshole." I mumbled. A flash of the softness came back into his face and I melted.

"You okay?" he asked once again. I smiled a little while I nodded my head. I reached my hands up behind his neck and pulled him to me. The moment our lips touched, he moved again.

Our lips and bodies moved in sync. Moving as one, rubbing together sensually. The feel of him inside me was overwhelming. It was a feeling that I'd never experience before. I knew what was between us was far from love but this made it feel like it could be there on day. It was so weird for me to think that after only knowing him a few days but it's true. At that moment, I couldn't see myself wanting to kiss someone else. I'd miss the feel of his lips on mine. I couldn't imagine letting anyone else touch me like he was doing because I knew it would feel dirty.

Those emotions wound me up inside. The gentleness was no longer wanted on my body. I wanted the real Billy Darley. I wanted to see what he had to offered because I knew it would blow my mind.

He must have picked up on my urgency or felt his own urgency to pick up the pace because he did just that. My moans and his groans filled the room and it was music to my ear. I couldn't keep the smile off my face while he thrust his hips forward into mine. I couldn't resist meeting his every thrust, making the friction even stronger.

God, I was never this active during sex but I didn't want to compare this sex to the rest that I had in my life. This was beyond any sex that I had ever dreamed of having. Billy Darley knew what he was doing. That thought scared me a little though. He was very experienced, he knew how to touch a touch and make her scream. He was a player and I was getting myself sucked into a sticky situation. I mean, what if I ended up thinking that we were together and found out he was cheating on me? What if he went off to see someone else for sex? I don't want anyone other than me feeling the way I am right now. I was actually jealous of anyone that got him after I did.

"Fuck." His mumbled brought me out of my thoughts and back to the current issue at hand. The issue was my building orgasm. I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled him closer to me. He obliged my request further by pressing his chest to mine and kissing my lips again. Our kisses were sloppy because of the harsh movements of our bodies but I still wouldn't let him take his lips away.

I needed to feel all him on me at once.

That feeling did it for me. The feel of him on me, in me and around me pushed me right over the edge. My toes curled, my head fell back and my lips parted to let out the fighting scream of pleasure that ripped through my body like a wildfire.

Half an hour later I found myself lying in bed with a gang member. A few days ago I thought he was the most repulsive man on the face of planet Earth. He was rude, annoying and had an ego like no one I had ever met. Tonight, I fucked him. It wasn't sex or making love. We fucked. Plain and simple.

And I loved it.

It made me feel like a real woman, like a rebel in a way. I always pushed this side of intimacy away, thinking that it was trashy and wrong. But tonight changed my mind. I didn't feel trashy or dirty. I felt strong and wanted. I felt sexy.

That said, I could still feel the old me deep inside. She was yelling at me to run away and leave. She was telling me that this was not the life to live. This was what most called the wrong path.

Nothing felt wrong though. I had two strong arms wrapped around my waist, a head laying on my shoulder and someone's hot breath tickling my ear. This was all from a man who looked like a bad guy but wasn't that bad at all. He protected me from Jeremy, even though he did it the illegal way.

Billy Darley was the most dangerous man I had ever met but he made me feel safe. He made me feel like life was worth living. He brought out another side in me and I don't think that's a bad thing.

* * *

_**Present - January 8th, 2009**_

"_Patron! Tequila! I'm drunk off margaritas!_" I sang, hitting Billy's butt as he carried me up the stairwell. I was trashed. It was the day before my father was being released from prison. That's reason enough to get trashed...and maybe stoned but I didn't mess with that. I could tell that Billy was annoyed but I wasn't sure if it was my groping hands hands that bothered him or the fact that I had been singing the whole drive home. I got down to 67 bottles of whiskey on the table before he finally yelled at me. Naturally, that made me cry and he had to pull over to calm me down.

P.S. I'm a bi-polar drunk. I'll go from happy to upset in 60 second.

He agreed to let me finish my song but when I got back into the car I temporarily forgot what number I was on and called it quits. I remembered it was 67 just a few minutes ago but I was too distracted by his ass to start singing.

"You have an amazing ass, babe!" I shouted happily...er, drunkenly. I heard him growl and fish his keys out of his pocket. "I can walk, ya know." I sang and pinched hit butt. He jumped a little and pushed the door open.

He threw me on the couch and walked back over to shut and lock the door. "Yes, but you also wiped out on your first, third and fifth steps every time I did set you on your feet." he retorted and walked passed me to go into the living room. I tried to stand up to follow him but my legs were jello. So I stayed seated and started to kick my shoes off.

Billy was ranting in the kitchen. Something about me being too drunk and me being funky when I was too drunk. He seemed pretty pissed but I wasn't paying attention.

It was hot. Like really, really hot.

My shoes fell to the floor and then I peeled my socks off. I took a deep breath and slowly pushed myself to my feet. I waited a couple seconds to see if I fell and when I didn't, my fingers fumbled with the buttons to my jeans.

"Why did I have to wear the jeans with all buttons and no zipper?" I mumbled to myself. Finally, the buttons freed and I pushed my jeans down my legs. I kicked them away and looked down at myself. "Aw, I got pretty undies on." I praised myself for my lacy black thong choice and even turned around to take a peek at my butt.

"What the fuck!" I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sound of Billy's voice. He was standing in the door way, holding a beer, looking at me like he wanted to eat me alive...and possibly kill me. "What are you doing?" he asked, still not moving.

"I was looking at my butt?" I offered. Apparently, he didn't like my answer. He strolled over to my and grabbed my jeans off the floor. "No, babe. It's hot in here. I just wanna-"

"Take off all your clothes?" he supplied without a smile. I frowned at him and smacked my jeans out of his hands. "Get dressed." he ordered.

Oh, he's angry now. I grinned at him and ran my fingers up his chest. I loved it when he was angry.

"Don't." he growled, as my finger slowly moved further down instead of going back up. He watched my finger intently as it moved down his chest and over his abs. "I said stop." His voice was getting lower, which meant that he really didn't want me to stop at all.

"No. You said," I let my finger drop the last few inches to his belt and hooked my finger into his jeans. "Don't." His eyes narrowed and he took a step forward, making me press up against him.

"You're drunk." he said gruffly. I laughed shortly and shook my head.

"No, I'm horny and I want you to fuck me." His eyes widened a little but relaxed after a few seconds. I knew he was fighting hard to keep control. "And I want you to fuck me right here," I tapped my foot on the floor. "Right now."

Boy did I get my wish.


End file.
